


White Night

by TheWhiteOne



Category: Death Note
Genre: M/M, overly complicated AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-26
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-02 16:23:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1058989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWhiteOne/pseuds/TheWhiteOne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world full of colorless people, being chosen by the white one is everyone's dream and one's reality<br/>( Chapters are slow and long please be patient)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE OF ‘WHITE NIGHT”  
~Mello~

Me

I.

What an abstract thing, my thoughts the ones rattling about my brain, I’m 18 now. My black world seems almost bright now. Maybe I’m just used to it, like the old ones.

I’m Mello and welcome to the Black World, everything is either grey or black, I’m no different. I step down like marble steps of my home, my boots soft against them, my colorless pale hand running down the black bar. I am greeted by a very sick-looking B standing in the middle of the grey living space, not sick in the physical sense, but in the mental sense. He looks weary, his hair messier than usual and his cramped body even more tense. I approach him with unneeded caution.

“You seem sick, B.” He stretches out his body suddenly, to his full height, deciding today was not the day for L-roleplay.

“Mello I am afraid, he is here and they will not be telling the student body which one is he is.”

He doesn’t mean.

“The white one.”

No, no, wait why am I suddenly panicking the white one is probably not going to chose me.

“It’ll be fine, you now white ones..” I smile half heartily, trying to assure B. Though I understand why B would be fearful of me being chosen. He was chosen at one time, a white one had fallen for him and B right back. The white one named “Light”, then Light was murdered by some unknown persona and B was devastated and never loved again. I couldn’t comfort him, he had cried for days and never fully pulled himself out of his depression.

He said no more and disappeared past me, up the stairs. I moved foreword across the grey carpet, twisting the silver handle, I stepped out into the blackness the wind caught my hair and I held the black strap of my bag with one hand. I looked at my street, Street lights the only thing lighting up the area, grey houses with depressed looks, concrete under my feet, I strolled foreword. Opening creaking open the swirled adored gate, and closing it, another gust of wind. Ok I get it, you’ve been looking for mate for a very long time white one but control yourself.

I suddenly found myself fantasying about what if I was chosen by the white one? What would I do?

So many questions that I’ll probably never have to face.

I walked down the street, the air smelled like rain, my boots soft once again, it was going to be a good day, I could sense. Then I felt a weight, not much more than my own slam into me.

Goddamnit Matt.

I shove him off.

 

“Did you hear, Mello?”

“Yes, my greatest burden.” I roll my eyes and he does that stupid ass grin of his, some bestfriend he is.

“So who do you think he’ll chose?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care. I just hope he leaves soon.”

“What if it’s you?”

“Trust me. It won’t be.”

“Even in all your genius you never know.” I only grunt and push his irrelevant thoughts aside, we walk in silence until we approach the building, wind gust. He’s on campus, he’s searching. Maybe. Chance in 1 in 100000 he’s looking for me, ha, why do I keep thinking these things. I hate it, there must be a better distraction, Matt disappears, I can only assume to fuck with some soul. I push through the crowd, scanning, I’m searching for him so he catch how terrible I smell to a mate and we can move on. I can’t find a new, unwanted face though. Fuck he’s not letting me find him, alright. He’s not here let’s dig through the hallway, no one, fuck. The bell rings dramatically. I sigh and head to my first class “psychology 101” god I hate that class but I was basically left with no option. So Instead of listening I scan the class over and over again, white one, show yourself. Then I see him, a new face, creeping in through the back silently. He sneaks into a seat, his nose probably searching for someone.

The bell rings again, he swiftly leaves and I suddenly realize I’m staring. I grab my things and almost run to class. I am afraid he’s following, irrational. I reach my second and last morning class, I see females adoring themselves, they want that creature to chose them. There’s ten minutes, fuck, what’s wrong me today? I stare at the grey floor, the black desk, the board the messy place that which the professor will sit…

Why am I so on edge?

 

~Near~

I saw him staring, are you sensing my presence, what are you doing?

It doesn’t matter, he ran and I didn’t even get the chance to smell him.

I stand, oh I hate this black one form I have to take on, just a bit more time. My mate, the one specifically created for me. Show yourself, your testing my patience and I’ve been waiting 12 years for you. I’m running out of sectors on the planet.

I’m internally overreacting again, it’s not visible on the outside.

Use scent to find your soulmate what a dumbass reality I live by.

I begin walking around the crowded all way, I know why they’re crowded, they’re hoping they’ll be the magical one I’ll chose to be with. How pathetic, to think that being chosen by me, the white one, should be the end-all goal and if they are not chosen by me, well they will live out a mundane existence. 

I have sad news for most of them, I smell nothing but bitter and mundane scents. The bell rings and they flee, I crinkle my nose at the bitterness of one unnamed individual. Time to go sit in classes and scan the room, I’m soundless as my black-socked feet hit the marble in the silence. I venture from room to room, past dozens of black lockers, grey trash and the voices’ of professor’s ready to croak. It makes me slightly depressed and mostly bored.

Maybe this why they want a white one to chose them.

It is said that being kissed by me in your sleep, results in you gaining your color and this how you know you’ve been chosen by me. I can say this one of the things that are true, just like us white ones mate for life.

I approach the next room, the 3 to last room on my list for this hour, the one who stares might be in here. That’s a good name for him, the one who stares. I was never romantic even the one time I was faced with s potential soulmate but turned out to be a false lead, I was greatly sad. I take a seat in the back of the class, I see a head quickly turn. That must be the one who stares, silently I descend down the stairs, of the class, the professor goes on and I make my way down the 6th row. I slide open the chair next to the one that stares, he glances and I can tell he’s panicking but is using the papers in front of him to distract himself. I sit, raising my knee and curling the other leg underneath I am close enough to scent him and I take in a deep breath…

I instantly want to grab him and bury my face in his chest.

When I was small I was taught that when you find your mate they’re scent will drive you crazy and you’ll have to restrain yourself the best you can. I became good at it and my composure almost never breaks. But this time I can’t help it, I break out my grin. There you are and only twelve years of fucking searching for you.

Now look at me let me see your face.

Show me it now.

I am so excited, I’m becoming overly aggressive, I can finally give up, no more searching. No more digging through, just me and my target. That’s if this boy is willing. I laugh very quietly and he looks up, ah so pretty. We make eye contact, he’s clearly panicking internally, I don’t blame him. His face, it’s sharp yet short, it brings me great pleasure to look at it, not that it matters in my world. He looks away, but I stare, at him more. I’m making him uncomfortable, good. The bell rings and he runs again….

I have a feeling we’re about to have a ritual.

I’ll notify the elder’s I’ve chosen you at once.


	2. Fear

CHAPTER 2 OF “WHITE NIGHT”  
Chapter 2

Fear

~Near~

Today is the day, I will approach the one who stares, my chosen one. Such a curious creature I am, or rather what I’ve become. I awake in my cocoon, in the garden of torture. I live here, I always return here. The touch the soft pulsating transparent grey petal above my face., It opens quietly and I sit up. I gaze upon the grey sky, the sun must be out, I step out, looking over the scarred grey ground beneath me, the massive black rose bushes that tangle and twist protectively over my resting grounds. It’s quite flattering they guard me and snag anyone who dare try to touch me. I can almost hear them telling me the one who stare’s name, but I don’t listen. I can’t. I need him to tell me. A breeze catches my white curls and I stare in the distance with my mundane expression. I smile, I am happy, but I have a feeling I about to make the one who stare’s life a lot harder. Nevertheless, if he’s remotely like the other’s, maybe he’ll be willing to let me borrow his heart.

I walk down the jagged path, black fencing barely holding back bushes that are hungry for blood, the ground rolls against my feet, it feels nice, almost like preparation. I reached the large gate, that reads “Do not enter, danger”. I had them put that up, it seems to keep passer bys away. With the soft push of my hand, the creaky gate flies open banging against the fence. I step through and give it the relief of closing, I can almost hear it sighing, for everything being so dully colored, it sure does have a lot of life. No disguise today, I do not need it. I have been wearing it for 12 years and today he will see me in all my glorious, bigheaded greatness that white ones always seem to possess.

I found myself going faster than usual to place where he will be today. I’m anxious but not in the negative way, it’s a happy anxious, maybe anxious is the wrong term.

I quickly reach the main school ground (via cheating with my magic), they’re all grounded and they see me, silence themselves for just a moment, then go back to buzzing. I enter the yard I grace through the crowd. They’re all wondering. “Who have I chosen? Is it me?” I’m looking for him, the gate leading to the yard creaks again, I turn and…

There he is.

He’s toting some bowl-cut snickering chain smoker with him. My focus pierces through the crowd, I begin to walk, then I am stopped. A young black one, not any older than 15, female long hair, nervous face.

“Excuse me, white one?” Here we go.

“Yes?” I reply as softly as my harsh monotone will let me. Hopefully the one who stare’s “will like my voice.

“Who have you chosen?” Not you.

“Someone, if you’re wondering if it’s you or one of your friends, I have to inform you none of you were chosen by me.” Harsh let down, I can’t help it, they’re currently in the way of me and my mate.

They give me pathetic looks and move out of my way, it was easier than I thought. I am getting closer and instantly he snaps that head of his towards me, my hand goes up in my hair to twirl. He knows I’m looking at him and I get this feeling other’s might take notice, let them stare.

I want him to keep this staring contest up but I know he’s got some imaginary social prejudice against me. I am a bit sad when he looks away and goes back to giving the smoker next to him his attention. Ignoring me will not make go away or make the fact that I came looking for you non-existent. The bell rings almost too loud suddenly for me, I know his first class, I plan to walk with him. Well, stalk, would be more accurate. I walk 5 feet behind him, he’s on edge, I sense it. Maybe you wouldn’t be so scared if you’d just look at me, embrace me. Not in the literal sense.

He turns, oh I’m about to hear his voice.

“Okay, I’m going to have to request you stop following me.” He glares at me, his voice is very smooth and guy-like, it’s cute.

“Why?” I respond.

“Because it’s fucking creepy having someone you do not know, follow you around.”

“But…Maybe there’s a reason.”

“Oh don’t fucking tell you’ve “chosen” me.”

“I have, I want to know your name, it’s important.” He sighs, keeping his frustration to a minimum. I like that.

“How about we crack a deal, if you tell your name, I will leave you alone for the rest of the day?” Worth it.

“How about forever?” Fucker’s got fight him.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“Fuck me, what’s going to happen if I refuse?”

“Who knows, I can not answer.” They’ll kill you and punish me.

“It’s Mello. Nothing else. Uphold your promise or I’ll-“ I cut him off.

“Do what?” He sighs, giving me a deathly glare and goes off, I’m left standing there, by myself, the sky twisting grey and black above me. The concrete suddenly a lot colder, yet my heart feels warm, very warm emotion….

I turn and walk, twirling my hair my thoughts wrapped about him. I think he’s lovely and so very handsome, I’m lucky. I feel lucky at least. He’s going to challenge me, I like that, I like a lot of things now. His smell still lingers, god, it’s poking my heart, maybe the ancestors were right. This isn’t as stupid as it seems. Number one rule of white one courtship:

“You smell the best, you are the best.”

It’s night now, I have a rose in my hand, I’m walking among the bushes, they move out of my way.

“He’s going to be mine, he’s not going to be mine, he’s going to be mine, he’s not going to be mine…” I sing quietly, pitch black, I light up the night, the silence. I wrap my whole hand around the rose’s thorns and squeeze it, hard. I begin to glow, a faint blue, I watch my blood trickle down my arm. Soft trickle, trickle down to the ground and like fire the ground spans white beneath me, like tree roots around me. One long vein leading, I know, straight to him. I drop the rose, the last petals flying off. I turn and begin to walk, the light following me. Down the street all until I reach his street the light pulses to home then fades. I walk to his window it’s unlocked I slowly and silently open it, climbing inside the plain grey room. He’s face up, perfect. I slowly lower my head to his and our lips meet my light entering his body and I watch as the color pulsate through him. His skin becoming fair, his hair sparking and becoming golden yellow, he looks even better now. I think to myself “Mello, I’m sorry, but you need to..the world needs to know you’re mine and no one else may have you.”

I find myself watching him sleep, the fresh golden strands tossing around about in his sleep, oh so pretty. I sound creepy, I don’t even fucking care. I wanted to wait, but it is clear you are not going down without a fight. I need to get you ahead of the courting game. Because we got a long road ahead of us.

Eventually I leave, silently as I came, he’s going to have a bittersweet surprise in the morning. But I’m happy and he’s pretty, that’s all that matters.

~Mello~

I woke groggily, I had this god awful nightmare about some dreadful creature kissing me. I stretch, god I do not want to be awake. But I have to, if I ever want to be remotely normal. I drag myself across the marble to the bathing room, I stare down for a moment, before looking in the mirror….

No it can’t be, no no…Golden blonde hair, brown eyes and fair skin.

I call Matt dialing as fast as I can.

“Did you fucking die my hair?”

“Fuck no I was with that hoe from the back campus all night.” I hang up almost as quickly

I stare into the reflection, I splash my face, maybe Matt is playing a sick trick on me for my negativity about the white one. I jump in and out of the shower. It’s not out, he did chose me he did he did…..

I dress my self quickly, brushing my hair, B can’t see this, B will do something like kill the White One. I zip up my leather and toss my big fluffy coat over, the hood concealing my head well. I sneak out skipping breakfast that would have woken B up for sure. I fast-walk to school, this is the last day of the week I have to go. Thank god, but unfortunately, that will not free me of the white one, he now knows where I live. The moment I reach the gate, I know he’s looking for me, he’s probably already here. White fuck.

The wind blows, I hold onto my hood, anxiously combing through the crowd. I see him, he’s looking through the ground for me. I head inside, but soon I here the soft shuffling of socks against the grey marble, I walk faster almost to the point of running. He’s unrelenting though I’ve evidentially been backed into a corner by him. I press my back against the wall, he stares at me, arms distance. I glare a fair warning, oh how murderous I feel.

“Do you understand now, Mello?” I let out a strong breath of air, he’s pushing, pushing…

“Fuck you and your stupid fucking infatuation for me just because you like my face and think I smell the best.” I spat out, no fucking mercy.

“You aren’t even going to give me a chance? You don’t even know me, how idiotic, you might actually like me.” He glared at me, still talking in that soft sweet monotone of his and pissing me off because it’s nice to listen to.

“Give me a fucking reason I should let you try to court me.”

“Because something horrible will happen to you and even bigger tragic event will happen, you’ll break my white heart. And you know what happens to people when they break a white heart.” Fuck. He’s right.

“As much I’d love to bow to you so easily. Give me more reason then your kind will kill me. Death is not a threat anymore it’s enduring.”

“Because, you might get something from it, I can’t give you anymore, the rest is yours. Either you give me a chance to prove I have pure reasons or die.” We sit in a dead silence for a few moments I can hear my heart beating, the soft “tick tock” of the clock. Could I? Push myself? Push past B’s grief and turn it into my happiness? Would that be betraying the man I’ve followed and written published works about?

Suddenly I need to know.

“Fine, what first?” He grins, cynical and evil, twirling a white little curl.

“Tomorrow. I will wait outside for you and I will court you in my garden.”

Tomorrow.

I swallow hard and wearily agree, “Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.”


	3. Courting the Nightmare

Chapter 3  
Courting the nightmare  
~Mello~  
I awoke, well from the half sleep I was in, my endless tossing and turning. Why am I so on edge? This brat won’t succeed, at least I can be all snarky and arrogant about it. Until some shit, like emotions, comes crashing into me. I stare up at the ceiling for a little while before ruffling the covers and stepping out of bed, I drag myself to the bathing room for morning routine. Wash, dry, dress and brush. Every fucking day. I inhale and walk down the steps. I’m starting to like my hair already, it feels right on me, I feel strangely attractive. The moment I get down the stairs, I see B and I realize what’s about to happen.   
I walk past him without even bothering.   
“Mello-“  
“No, I can’t control this and neither can you, this conversation is pointless to have.” I shove it away, I want to get this thing with the white one over with. I don’t even fucking know his name yet. I’m sure white ones have names. Or maybe they don’t.  
“Be careful, you’re at the moment your fate is no longer in my hands. I get it.” I huff, leaving swiftly and down the steps of the porch. I don’t see him, maybe he forgot. This would be my lucky day. Then suddenly I see a white flash and there he is, stark against the blackness of my world, glowing seemly. Right in front of me, for a moment he steals my breath.

I step foreword, fixing my expression to that of displeasure and frustration. The wind kicks up it’s no secret he’s smelling me silently.

“Are you going be awkward and stare with fake displeasure or are you going to come with me?” His expression was flat, lacking lust or even the emotion of someone around someone they liked. I inhale and exhale deeply my thoughts blank. I’m going with him I have no other choice or at least I think I have no other choice. I walk foreword.  
“So where are we going and how are we getting there?”

“We’re going to my torture garden and no, it does not literally torture people it’s just a name that deters the youth and keeps everyone else out.” I give him a skeptical look he clearly has this garden under lock and key for reason. He must be some sort of white one royalty. “I’ve been saving it for you in a sense, Mello, saving it for my mate. Which just happens to be you.” Slight happy. 

“That’s awfully romantic.”  
“Not really, it’s a ritual. I wouldn’t feel comfortable courting you anywhere else.”   
“I need to you know one thing.”  
“Yes?”  
“Your name.”  
“My true name is Nate River, but please calls me Near.” Are you kidding me? A normal name? He then takes my hand and tear it away, his expression doesn’t change.  
“Whoa there, bit too close.” A throw up my hands, with a slightly shocked expression, he just snatches it again, his grip tighter this time.  
“I’m making sure you won’t run and make this harder.” He then leads me foreword a bit, next thing I know we are in front of a large gate, which is clearly aged. Behind the gate lay crooked and jagged path, surrounded by snarly yet protective black rose bushes and a grey sky. He lets go, opening the gate, I feel as though he, an invisible string, is tugging me. I cant stop staring for some reason, am I checking him out as well? Fuck too long without sex. No, it’s not that type of checking out, it’s more of a friendly ‘what are you all about?’ looking over. I walk behind him, I can’t feel the bumps on the ground through my boots, but he can. I wonder if it feels nice….

Eventually we reached an odd shrine; it appears to be a small bed of sorts, like a bloomed flower. Petals and all, surrounded by black and crack marble, it is oddly inviting. I look around it looks so looming it is pretty. He outshines it all though, the white, it’s maddening.

“So what are your thoughts?”  
“Well it’s certainly interesting…” Near is closer to me than I realize the height difference is clear, the guy can’t be above 5”3. Funny. I always wanted someone smaller than me. He stared at me with his full attention, I am the only one staring at this place, he’s probably here a lot. So I can only assume he wants me to interact with him. I give him the same intense stare back the exchange of brown and grey. “I know I’m pretty but you don’t have to stare.” He says nothing.  
“Hello Near, are you still with me?” He blinks.   
“Yes, I am just figuring you.” What?  
“Figuring?”  
“My next move.”  
Silence.   
“Please look at my resting chamber..” I obey and move towards it. It touch the veins on the grey petals, they glow dimly. Does everything glow in my presence now?   
“What do you want to do?”  
“I just wanted you to get a feel of this place, you’ll be spending a lot of time here…” He knows he need say no more before I spout.  
“Who said this wasn’t just one time?”  
“I practically could feel your stare in the back of my head.” Near stares into my eyes again, his cold stare, all knowing. I feel like I’m in the presence of a god, who I don’t believe in. I look at his right hand, it has scabs on it, I don’t why I didn’t notice before.   
“What did you do to your hand?”  
“While I’m flattered you care, it is not of your concern.” Oh yeah you sound like an awesome mate already.  
I sigh, I’m becoming hungry and I’m growing bored, maybe I should request to leave. “Can I leave, Near?”   
“For what?”  
“Food.”  
“Only if you promise to come back.”  
“May I come back tomorrow, I’ll bring something to entertain us?”  
“You mean something to entertain yourself and yes, sense this is our first day, you may leave. But you must with me tomorrow.”   
“Yeah, Yeah I will just direct me to the exit.”  
“Go the gate and step foreword past it, you’ll be home.” I nod and strut away, why? So he can get a good look at what he’s probably never going to have. I hear a soft giggle behind me, fuck it was cute. I did exactly has he said and vanished from this place.

 

~Near~   
As I watched him vanished, I made a fowl giggle, he is spunky in nature. I think about tonight, I will sneak into his room and watch him sleep, until he lets me sleep in his bed with him. I long for day I get to roll in that sweet scent of his. I sit next to my chamber my head against the marble, my hands lightly over my heart. 

He’s not going to be mine

He is going to be mine.

 

I’ve followed my paper trail to his home once again, the same as before, my silent entering of his room. I sit on my knees, my head on top of my crossed arms. I just stare, glowing my faint blue. Not enough to wake him though, I am content on him.

Oh Mello,   
I can only hope   
One day  
Our bond will be forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh ugh, I know the chapters are kind of short and boring for now but just give me time!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
Yours evolves into mine  
~Near~  
We have developed a ritual, a wooing routine that I follow. Because it makes Mello more comfortable, we have not done anything and he has yet to catch me watching him sleep. I have liked these past few weeks; he even lets me walk next to him. However, my need for closeness is only growing stronger by the minute. What I really want from him is a hug.  
I want him to embrace me literally this time, I think he’s beginning the process of growing attached to me or at least used to me, comfortable.   
I approach the front of his house, he comes out and we do the same transfer from   
his home to my garden. We engage a glance and I decide to ask.  
“Will you join me in a embrace?” He gives me a skeptical look, I decide just to go for the kill, I almost latch myself at him. My arms wrapping tightly around his waist, his scent filling my lungs instantly, he backs up surprised.   
“Oh okay there, I almost forgot this was courtship.” He doesn’t shove me away, I feel his arms wrap around me loosely. I can feel his breath against my head. We stand there for a moment, my face pressed against his chest. I’m relaxed and I feel protected by him, I feel as though we’re getting somewhere. This beating around the bush was getting exhausting.   
“You in there?”  
“Yes.”   
“Damn you wanted to be close to me this badly, um?”  
“Why wouldn’t I?” Enthusiasm.   
Mello pushes me back a bit then grabs my face with one hand, his arm around my waist. He forces me to look up and the brown piercing my soul, I give him the same deathly stare. Then without warning, his mashes his face with mine, his lips assaulting mine and it’s vicious. He holds me there for a few a moments, my arms at my side and my eyes closed. I better savor this. When he finally pulls away, there is a loud and wet, pop! Like two suction cups pulling apart.   
“What did I do to get that?” I look down, wiping my mouth.   
“You said you wanted be close me.”  
“So you assault my face?”  
“You liked it, I doubt it was assault.” We completely separate.   
“Well it was quite aggressive; it’s suiting for me, actually.” I smile, a small laugh escaping me. I did like it, it was better than when I gave him his color because he invoked it. Not that the kiss wasn’t messy and full of his personality.   
“Oh really?” He smirks, on the verge of smiling at me in return.   
“Yes, my nature calls for such behavior. It joys me.” Even if that is hard to believe.  
He turns away from me and still talks to me, louder. “Oh Near, you’ve given me something that I didn’t know I was missing, Matt was never my partner in crime, clearly it’s you.”  
What?  
“I thought for all my life, that I had found my partner in crime at an early age. But clearly here today, I have found the person I actually want to wear around with me, if he wants. It’s you, Near the white one.”   
Romantic? I wouldn’t know.  
He begins to walk away for some oddity, “Who said I was done with you?”  
“Why do you think you’re getting more?”  
“No. I need to discuss something with you, the cold season.” He stops and turns his head slightly towards me.   
“Normally I would go into hibernation, it’s much too cold for me to be about and my body can go extremely long periods without food or water.”  
“Yeah, so I can get rid of you for 6 months?”  
“But do you really want to go that long without me?” I twirl my head in pretend inquiry. He is silent; there is not need for words.   
“So, Mello, if you want to keep me awake, you’ll let me stay with you.” He hesitates, silence looms for a bit then he turns and looks at me, the breeze catching the stray golden bits of his hair.   
“You have to make sure B is okay with it too, I know what it seems but he lives there too.” I nod, this man, B. Mello had mentioned him before.   
“I will go back with you then.” Better, just get it over with.  
I can see his body contract in a sigh, but he nods for me to come with him. I follow suite. We’re soon at his home.   
“I’ll go inside first and drag him out.” I wait there, a few minutes later he comes back out, frustrated clearly, but just a smug but I can see. “He says yes with great displeasure.”   
Good enough.   
I follow in behind Mello, closing the door, I turn into the living room and there he is. What I assume is B, sits hunched over in a chair before me. Crimson irises push past the black bangs of his hair, a sharp face with a rounded nose and deathly pale skin. His frightening looking and his eyes so content on me only make the shivers worse. I sit on the ground across from him, my right knee up and my other leg tucked under. I stare at him and he stares back, it’s quickly a losing battle.   
“You are, B?”  
“Yes, what are you?”  
“I am Near.”   
“You are a white one?”  
“You are a black one?” I can hear the clock ticking behind me, I can sense Mello is not far either.   
“I’d love to chit chat mindlessly with you but I have to get to the point. I understand you would like to stay with Mello and myself because of the cold season and Mello not wanting to be away from you for that long. You can, but I have to lay down rules for your safety around me.” Fucker looks like a killer but based on his demeanor and appearance he clearly knows not to kill white ones.   
“First being stay the fuck out of my room and back area.” Like I give a fuck what you and your white one do. “Second, your Mello’s guest, not mine I will not clean or anything of the sorts for you.” I own a fucking kingdom back on the white planet. “And third, no breeding.” Understandable.   
“We clear?”  
“Yes, B.” He breaks out a spooky grin for some reason and leaves, shuffling out of my presence only for Mello to replace him. “What is he?”  
“The only man I could ever call father, he cares for me and loves me.”  
“Where is his white one?”  
“His white one is currently on a trip.” Oh, that is why he is pissy. At least his mate did not die. When it happens, there is always an extreme morning period for the whole next 3 years. Having Mello stolen away from me like that is my worst nightmare. I am not in love yet, but I worked so hard to find him and he is not disappointing me. Why am I thinking these pointless thoughts? I stand once again and I know he is staring at me.   
“Lead me to your room.” He nods and walks past me, I catch his scent for a moment and it relaxes me. I follow him up the smooth marble steps, my socks almost causing me to fall into them. I catch myself on the black painted metal bar last moment though. Mello snickers; he is such a fucking jerkoff. 

He leads me down the mostly empty hallway, it smells like strawberries in here. He leads to me to his room, blank as ever, he does not know I’ve seen this room so much it’s practically home for me. The mirror crowded with writing and pictures. A few clothes strewn here and there, his bed sheets ruffled.   
“There’s not much to see or look at, but I guess I’ll be harboring you up here for a while. I’ll have to dig out the cot for you. You’ll sleep on the floor tonight.” Why don’t we just share the same bed? Hehe.   
“Fine.” I almost spat it out; I am insulted for some reason.   
“You seem upset about that….Too fucking bad you aren’t getting my bed and you aren’t sleeping with me.” We will see about that my love. Even my thoughts are becoming sarcastic egotism.   
“Yeah I know, don’t take it personally it’s one of my many flaws or did you not think I had any because I’m so nice to you?” So the true me pierces the veil of romance and gets down with realism. He rolls his eyes; he’s mostly definitely not stupid.   
“Oh I knew you had flaws you just conceal it behind soft monotone and the common dismissing of your own emotions. That won’t last forever, but I suppose if I want you around I have to tell with the shear reality of it.” He’s good.   
“Even now you’re probably noting some positive shit about me.” Too far.   
“I said mateship, not try to leech my thoughts out.” He glares and I do not give him the justification of seeing me do the same thing for him to act like an ass later.   
“How cute a nickname, I’m a leech.”  
“It’s not your nickname, you don’t get an affectionate nickname from me.”   
“Shame, snowflake.” Oh fucking brother.   
“Well I guess you can call me things if you see that as your way of recognizing me.” I take where I can get from him, I’m new to this and he’s not.  
“Well I guess it does separate you from the general population, sense people already stare at me toting you around.”   
“I’m not your fucking accessory, Mello.”   
“That’s not what I was implying I was saying I get stares toting around a white one, who wouldn’t?” I give him a stare, but I know he’s right.   
“I have business elsewhere, please make yourself at home and don’t piss off B, I don’t feel like dealing with it.” He walks past me and out the door, I watch him disappear again, perhaps maybe I’ll move my collection in here. I don’t think he’ll be too enthused by a corner full of toys, I think he’ll be down right grumpy about the finger puppets that look like he and I.   
I’ll have to make another to represent B.   
I look around and make up my mind. I’ll sleep right next to his bed, so he has to work if he wants to sneak past me. I decide to leave the room as well and make the trips necessary to move my stuff into his room, which is just toys and clothes. But damn is it a lot more than I remembered. I set up shop in half of his room and I smile to myself, that very small devilish smile of mine.   
What’s mine is yours.  
~Mello~  
When I told him I had business elsewhere I lied, I just needed to get some fucking air because he suffocates me. I’m over on my ways to Matt’s extreme-dysfunction, whether or not I stay will depends on what’s going on over there. I approach the shack he lives in, practically out in the middle of nowhere. I can see why the druggies are willing to live here, away from the eyes of cops.   
I knock on the door and one of his hit-ups answers the door, I’ve seen this one.  
“What’s your name?”  
“I’m Mello, where is Jeevas?” Then suddenly Matt shoves the drug hazed male out of the way and stares at me, he’s grinning.   
“I know you haven’t bothered being at school the past few weeks and my appearance should tell what my news is.” He snickers, stepping out of the shambles of the house and looks me over.   
“It honestly doesn’t surprise me, I’m right when it comes to you.”  
“And yet you’re still my loyal servant.” I stuff my hands in my pockets.  
“So when I am going to meet this soulmate of yours?”  
“He’s by no means my “soulmate” and maybe if you got out more you’d see a small white body wondering around.”   
“Yeah, but its not that important to me until it effects you.”  
“Am I interfering with something?”  
“Yeah, I was about get some crack.”   
“Are you fucking around or are you serious?”  
“I’m dead serious, Barbie.”   
“There’s something wrong with you.”  
“Nah, we just were raise differently.”  
“You by loving but dysfunctional and stupid ass parents, me by a man who couldn’t have done it better.”   
“Whatever gets you by.” He pulls out a cigarette, lights it and inhales deeply.   
“I’m going to leave.”  
“Fine, come back soon though, I want to hear lots about this mate of yours.” I roll my eyes and walk off, I love Matt, he’s one (if not my only) friend in the world. However, our conversations have come less with his fucked up living situation. I wish I could help him, but he’d shove me aside with a “as long as I’m alive and your friend”. 

~Near~ 

I inhale deeply, I’m looking for the scent of other white one so I might see who it is. I’m not smelling anything but Mello and the overly sweet (almost unbearable) B. Where is your scent elder? Why isn’t this house just coated in your sweet, isn’t he your property? Your possession? Yours?   
Night is looming overhead, I stare out the window, hoping for Mello I knew, had afflictions with the local crime, and I may not see him for days. However, I also knew he probably wouldn’t leave me alone for my first night in his room. About 20 minutes later when the sky had darkened completely, I heard the opening and closing of the door in the silence of the grey home. His shoes against the marble stairs and down the hall, finally into the room, I turn around and gives the whole room a stare down. Giving a skeptical and odd look at my toys, taking off his coat and throwing it aside.   
“This is…new.” He talks off his shoes.  
“Welcome to my personality.”   
“Well at least I know you can have fun.”  
“I have fun with you.”  
“Yeah sure.”  
He lays down the bed and stares up at the ceiling, I walk over and look down at him, not exactly sure what to do with myself.   
“Why are you staring at me like that?”  
“Like what?”  
“Like you’re admiring.” He smirks and I snarl.  
“So what are all the toys about?”  
“I get bored.” He looks over there again.  
“So bored you made you and me?” I go over and pick them up, slipping the puppets on both of my index fingers and approaching him again.   
“What if I wanted you and me to be shown here?” Then I touched the puppet’s faces together and a smile bursting from me. He gives me analmost horrified look.  
“Why won’t you let it go?!”  
“Let go of what? Progress? You think I’m attractive enough to kiss.”  
“Oh fucking god, I could have down that to anyone I fucking pleased.”  
“But you don’t, so you’re a shittalker.”   
“You’re not earning your way into my bed.”  
“ I don’t want to have sex with you and I probably never will.” Take that pretty boy.   
“Oh is that some weird white one thing?”  
“I guess you could call it that, it’s not that we couldn’t get pleasure from sex, it’s just we get very little. For instance no orgasm could ever compare to the feeling of gaining permanent mateship. That is a pleasure like no other.”   
“White ones sure do have a lot about them.”  
“That is the reason why we’re so rare.”  
“Oh you just make me feel so special.” Sarcasm.   
He rolls over so his back faces me. “I’m never going to get used to that fucking smile.”   
“Oh you don’t like it?” Not that it matters.   
“No it’s not that I don’t enjoy seeing you joyful, it’s that I don’t even know if what you’re thinking is negative or positive.”  
“It’s positive this time.” I decide to sit next his bed, looking up at him.   
“…”  
“You’re tired.”  
“I feel like I’m incapable of slumber as long as you’re so full of energy.”  
“Well maybe I’m not; maybe I’m tired as well I just wanted to talk to you.”  
“Then will you turn off the light and let me sleep?”  
“Of course.” I shuffle across the room and turn off the switch; he gives a look before closing his eyes. I had gotten my sleep stuff out earlier while awaiting him, but I’m not tired, not in the least bit.   
But I know I have to try until later into the night. I lay my head down to rest and pray he falls asleep fast.

~  
Suddenly I find it’s 12:00 am, have I really been staring into nothing for this long? I can his soft snoring above me and I sit up. I get on my knees and begin my nightly ritual of watching him. I’m staring, I’m trying to read his sub-conscious mind, I wonder if his mind thinks of me or Matt or B. Maybe the other white one. Some things not even I can comprehend or understand, Mello being one of them. Perhaps maybe he’s just a hard puzzle to solve because of who he is.   
Then he rustles and I suddenly realize I’m in the way of his sleeping pattern, he blindly reaches out and grabs me. I rip away from grib and he opens his eyes in groggy confusion. I’ve done it now.   
“Fuck really?” He groans, it’s almost incoherent.   
I don’t answer.   
“How long have you been here?”  
No answer.   
“How long have you been doing this?”  
Silence.   
“Fuck..” He moans. “What can I do to stop you?”  
Silence, I don’t even know the answer to this question.   
“Do you want to sleep in my bed with me? Is that what you want?”  
I nod and he flops open the cover, turning his back to me. I can’t believe this is actually happening.   
“Get in before I change my fucking mind.” I crawl in and under the covers with him. He’s even true to himself half-asleep, I like it. He falls asleep again soon and I do too.  
What the fuck is going to happen in the morning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah ah! I am back with new chapter yeah!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
Wanted  
~Mello~   
I woke up to the light grey piercing my room, I felt an arm around me along with a breathing body. I turned under the arm and found myself face to face with Near. He was so content his mouth open a little, his eyes moving in a dream like state. He was so cute looking I didn’t have the heart to kick him out. It was a like puppy growing attached to you. But as I stared at the sleeping body I could see him clearly waking, his groggy eyes wandering about for a moment before resting on my face.   
“Good morning.” He yawned, showing off his tiny fangs. I forgot white ones had them.   
“Good morning to you to?” He stares at me with those big grey eyes and I stare right back. Some mates kiss. Most kiss actually; we stare as though we’re kissing. It feels just like it’s just as intimate as kissing.   
“What’s on for today?”  
“I’m free again, you should walk with me, come meet the mafia.”   
“I don’t care about the mafia.”  
“What am I suppose to do with you?” How am I supposed to date you?  
“Something that involves moral values and legal activity.”  
“You’re so correct in everything you do, it balances out.”  
“Does it really?”  
“Yes.” I smile at him, he cracks a smile right back. He gets out of the bed first.   
“So do we share a bed now?”  
“No, maybe...” I feel so exposed around him, like an autopsy.   
Stretching his shirt loose and his pants barely hanging on. It’s tormenting, but I know he does not have appreciation for sexual jokes or oogling. So I look away, he walks over, running a hand through his hair still a bit groggy. He pulls out his clothes and leaves for the bathroom. I sit up and look around. I pick a piece of curly white hair off the pillow next to me.  
“So maybe I do end up liking you, it that how the story goes..?” I mumble and laugh quietly. I get out of bed and change my clothing I had showered yesterday. So there’s not a need for a shower until tonight.   
I feel like the whole world is slow motion around me, I feel very good for some odd reason. The grey world is bright once again and I can even sense a warmth from B. Near comes out, blue pants and white shirt, wet curly hair only weighed down by volume. I laugh at the random curls sticking out. He glares at me. He’sg ot his face back on, monotonous rejection of emotions. I can’t blame him for the extreme composure. I like it, it something I wished I had that characteristic.   
He slides open a stool and sits down at the marble table in the center of kitchen, watching me make coffee, “Do you want me to make enough for you?”  
“No thank you.”   
“Sense when were you polite?”  
“I’m not, you’re my equal, you get special treatment from me.”  
“That could mean anything based on you.”  
“I slept in your bed with you what more is needed to say?”   
I simply shake my head and grin.  
“You’re happy, could that be because of me?”  
“Sure, boast a little.” I go to sit across from him, leaning one of my elbow on the table. “I have questions to ask you.”  
“Go on.” He stares.   
“Why do you sit like that, not that it’s a problem just curious.”  
“I’ve always sat like this, I can’t explain some things.” He turns his head to the side and twirls his hair.  
“And that?” I point at his finger   
“I do this whenever my hand is not doing something or I’m thinking. What about you? Why do chew on chocolate bars?”  
“When I was small B always gave me them as presents for positive things and holidays, they represent something positive. I eat the thoughts and the positivity.”  
“Interesting.”   
He appears to be in deep thought, I can’t tell what, though maybe I don’t want know. He doesn’t seem like the violent type but he doesn’t seem like the type who would just let you press his buttons. He’s quite aloof and calculating. But I can push past it and crack him open, that’s a partly because he’ll let me and wants me to.   
But I’ve sensed noticed I’m one, if not the only, person he wants to be around.   
In addition, I have to admit he’s enjoyable for me as well.   
I hear the coffee maker it’s quiet beep and I stand, pulling out a smooth stone grey cup and getting some. I get the chocolate creamer out of the refrigerator and mix it together before returning to my seat. He’s still there, he looks like he wants to say something but remain silent.   
“You really stand out in this world, I don’t how anyone doesn’t notice you walking around.”  
“I don’t just wonder about like you, Mello, I wrapped up in brain stimulators more often that not and I only pull away to give you my attention.”   
“Getting more romantic by the minute.”  
“They’re two things most important to me, my intelligence and my courtship of you.”   
“Why is finding love so important to white ones?” I take a sip.  
“As our society grew more and more rules pinned, robotic, factory like in the people we produced. We decided to get personality back by keeping the white ones and the black ones merged in this union you and I are currently in. Therefore mixing personality into the pot of our peoples’ boredom. Soon after the agreement between the two kinds, we instated new polices that made it so mass-reproduction of just a few DNA structure was punishable by death. The new polices also stated that reproduction not requested by mates or needed for royalty reasons, was also punishable by death. And soon we prospered back into the colorful society we once were.”   
“Well, history lesson, thank you…”  
“Not a problem.” I finish my coffee, leaving the cup in the sink knowing a clean-freak driven Beyond Birthday would come for it eventually.   
I walk over the other side of the table, I am going to leave don’t get me wrong. I do have better things to do than sit and play dolls all day. I’m such a shit talker.   
I approach him and bend down to his level, smirking and he gives me a snake like expression back. I press our noses up against each others and his stare doesn’t even blink.   
“You what I want.”  
“Is this going to become a regular thing?”   
“I’m happy right now, so no promises.” I’m smiling and he’s giving me that stare again, “Oh you wanted this, so you can suck it up.”  
“I don’t think I’m required to change who I am for you, you should just start accepting this is how I am and stop trying to form another you. I know you think I’m a in a romantic haze but that’s not true.”   
“You just know how to pour poison over every gesture I give to you.”  
“It’s not that I don’t enjoy-” I cut him off in a aggressive kiss grabbing his face in the same matter I did the day before. Keeps him from fighting. Again our faces locked in the resistance battle, my lips trying to crack a clam shell. I try to persuade him to give me more feedback, but it’s clear this is a lot harder than I thought. I pull away and I feel him lean foreword a bit, like he’s not done. Too bad, if I can’t stick my tongue in there, I’m done.  
I let go and his eyes penetrate mine, almost a glare. Oh kitties angry.   
“Not fair.”  
“For who?”   
“Me. You refuse to open your mouth when we kiss.”  
“So?”  
“I want you to and if it’s going to be like this I simply will not kiss you. Ever. I’ll find someone else to kiss and to sleep in my bed with me.”   
“You wouldn’t.”  
“Oh but I would.”  
“You wouldn’t do that to me. The guilt would weigh on you.”  
“Try me, Near.”  
“Shit-talker.”   
He was right, I wouldn’t and I’m goi ofng to keep trying until he gives in. I stand and go to leave, looking back briefly.   
“You’ll be here when I get back, right?”  
“Yes.” I departed.   
~Near~  
I watched him leave and waited until he was gone completely, before moving back to the bedroom. I’m on a mission, I’m going to dig through files of his. I had noticed the mounds of papers and photos under his bed. I dig on my knees, dig out every scrap of paper, and begin the tour of Mello’s life.   
I find mostly photos of Mello and B, I even find his birth certificate “Mihael Keehl” I can why he wants to be called Mello. Then I find his adoption certificate, sighed “Beyond Birthday” (what I assume is B’s name, I’ve heard stranger) and “Light Yagami”.   
Light Yagami.   
I’ve heard that before.   
Then it clicks with me.  
The trail and the execution of Princess Lilica of the Smooth Button district on the white planet. I remember because I was summoned away from the black planet to watch it, I had been born in that district. I had been hooded and bound in white robes. I had watched B sliced the Princess’s throat and listened to roaring hatred as they pulled the clothes and jewelry from her body yelling “Whore!” “Disgrace!”  
I was sent back to black planet the night after.   
Light Yagami had been the cause of the Princess Lilica’s death, the cause of B’s grief and rage from being betrayed by his soulmate. He had known and raised Mello until the age of 10 and now I fear Mello may take after him.   
That means Light must be alive somewhere in Smooth Button. The law states that such a crime is not punishable by death of the cheater, but punishable by torment of the psychological kind. I fold everything back in order and sigh. My Mello was raised by a cheater, a unpure white one.   
It’s sick.  
But it occurs to me, everything I see might now even be Light, it might be Beyond Birthday.  
I wouldn’t call him Beyond Birthday, I assume he likes being called just ‘B’. Though I hunger for more information about him, I will not take the chance Mello would side with him and not me, which is a great possibility and one I’m not willing to chance.   
I honestly wonder what do or die venture Mello has embarked on, I do not know if he’ll come back with chemical burns or money, I can’t think too hard on it.   
I stand and look around perhaps I will walk today. It’s going to be boring. I grab my furry white coat, almost brand new from only a few uses and I leave the house swiftly. I waltz down the walkway and out into the street. I don’t know that much of the district, my only hope being I don’t run into the local crime. I eventually get past the grey homes and silent neighbors: I reach the town. It buzzes quietly, grey leaves tumble past and people buy goods for the cold season.   
I have the only good I need.   
I’m surprised I’m never stopped, As I head out of town, I think I hear footsteps behind me. I ignore it, thinking my flashback paranoia from the Princess Lilica event had caught back off to me.  
Then I think about Princess Lilica. I remember her, she was 20 at the time of her death. She had faintly grey hair, light green eyes and slender body. I can’t blame B for thinking he couldn’t measure up to her. Her name was even named Lilica, The White Flower Child.   
Her mother just as divine, but her mother was simply cold hearted in nature. Her mother Queen Silver Belle is a women who curls her silver hair perfectly and pins it up in one over the top hair piece, a crow topping it off. She’s a woman who puffs out her chest pridefully and rules better than even the Empress Koli could.   
Maybe someday Mello will come to Smooth Button with me.  
Empress Koli would like Mello, she a spunky, free spirited woman with ankle length black hair and often seen smirking with a jet black spandex suit.   
Why do I even bother going into detail about these things, the only thing that matters is it that I like him.   
I suddenly feel something shoot in neck.  
And I black out.   
I feel cold concrete against my face, it’s almost pitch black. My vision is blurred and the voices around me warped. I can make out a blurry mess of big men dressed in black and one disappearing yellow flash. I try to move over and I groan, my body hurts.   
“Mello..” I groan quietly and a steel-toed boot hits my stomach causing me to roll over and cough.   
My coat was taken from me and used as a blood rag. I pray repeatedly in my head, I feel so fucking useless; my brain can’t save me this time. I want Mello to come for me and take me home. Purify me with his presence.   
That’s when I hear the yelling, it’s Mello’s voice, I’ve never been so comforted. He’s coming towards me, he’s laughing.”   
“So what we have here boys we got the enemies-“ He stops dead in his tracks, I hear him gasp. I open my eyes and look at the blurry mess of him, he approaches me and looks me over, clearly pissed.   
“What the fuck is this boys?”  
“We went and found a toy, we figured you could indulge it as well!” They laugh and he hisses.  
“This is my fucking white one, how fucking dare you all!!!!” He stands and screams, my vision is slowing getting better. His face is turning red and his eyes are dilated, any cool he had is going away, he’s not temperamental, so I know he must be angry.  
No.   
Pissed.   
“You’re going to have a decision boy, either we take him or we take you.” They smirk, they’re clearly bigger than him and out number him. But I know Mello has got a few things up his sleeve. He couldn’t keep it contained to even attempt to sneak me away. But I knew that wouldn’t have worked, they would have just started beating on me the moment he even faked agreed and he knew that.  
“We want the white one more though?”  
“Why?” Mello hissed  
“Haven’t you heard? They’re thinking of banning the chosen program? As such this bastard will be deported and the program will be no more! Haha!”  
“No.”  
“What? I recall you shit talking the white trash until one came and got you all revved up on hormones now ya think he’s the one.”  
Then Mello, bends down, draping his body over mine. His hand touches my hair, I feel his moving chest against my side, his other arm over my stomach. It’s protective almost, “Take us both if your ballsy, if you’re confident B wouldn’t come and pluck you all off, one by one.” He mocks, fake laughter pierces the air.  
They suddenly back away, Mello is running on gloved hand through my hair, he looks possessive. He raises from me and picks me up, I weigh less than he does so it wasn’t a hard feat. I pull my arms into my stomach, I feel like shit and he feels fine.   
“So?”  
“Take him the fuck home, if you’re just going to be a bitch.”  
“I can kick out if you want to and you can tell the bartender about all your failure and get arrested on disorderly conduct.”  
“Fine. Just keep him away.”  
I will have to ask Mello about that later.  
He begins to carry me out and once we’re out of ear shot of everyone, he speaks to me.   
“You’re lucky I was fucking here, though I can not blame you. It sucks I had to use the B threat again. God they are terrified of him.”   
“Shut the fuck up, Mello.” I groan my head is throbbing, we can converse later.   
He carries out from the underground base and feel the cold air against my skin, my eyes are closed, my head hurts and even the slightest sliver of light hurts. I feel every bump as he walks, I can’t help but groan.   
“Near the only means of transportation I have is my motorcycle. I could call Matt but I don’t think that would be the best first impression of you.” Like I give a fuck what some fucking playmate of yours thinks.  
“I’ll call him, I’m left with no options.” He sets me down for a minute and I try to sit up but all the blood rushing to the other parts of my body makes me weak suddenly. So I fall right back down. I hear the soft beep of the phone and soon I hear him talking.  
“Matt, you motherfucker pick up the phone I actually need your assistance.”  
He dials again.   
“Oh well finally.”  
“They fucking gave him so much sedative he can barely move they almost killed him.”   
“You better kick that bitch out and throw some crack at her as payment.” I don’t know if I want to ever meet Matt formally.  
“No I’m not conning you.”  
“Get the fuck-“  
“Really?”  
“See you soon.” He turns off the phone and bends down over me, again going for my hair. I can here the rustle of the glove.   
“Near…”   
~Mello~   
I have crouched over Near and have proceeded to try to comfort him. My eyes just running over and over our surrounding, I await Matt and his car. I live this life as Beyond did once, before he met his white one. Maybe I’ll give up this life for Near or maybe he’ll join me, he and I are about the same intelligence. Genius fueled by very different things.   
He makes a soft sigh, but he’s not protesting to my affection so I keep on until Matt arrives. I pick Near up with a soft grunt and carry him to car.   
“Don’t try anything.” Matt helps me lift him into the back seat I climb in with Near placing his head on my lap.   
“So what exactly happened?”  
“They wanted to make him into a prostitute or kill for fun.” Near makes a disapproving noise. “Yes, Near.”   
“Oh you named it, you’re growing attached. How cute.”  
“Shut the fuck up and drive.” Near makes another noise and I can’t translate with it means.   
Soon we arrive back at home, I wedge Near out of the car and ask him if he can attempt to stand, his does and only makes it for 30 seconds. I carry him bridal style into the house (Matt opening doors and such because he’s a good guy secretly). I set Near in the covers of my bed and I look him over, I ask Matt to leave and he so anxiously does. I take off my shoes and lay with him, I know he’s not feeling good and would probably not appreciate me being anywhere but with him.   
He falls asleep soon and he’s so light he doesn’t even snore, I feel guilty and exhausted as well, I can’t hand him over the hospital. The broadest noise in the room being his breathing, as such I soon myself drifting into the abyss with him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about B yet....

Chapter 6   
The heart  
~Mello~  
It’s been 3 weeks sense the incident.  
Near has been more distant than ever.  
He has not asked to sleep in my bed with me.  
He has not let me kiss him.   
Or touch him that much.  
He just sits and makes wooden toys then paints them.   
I’m starting to worry.  
I feel deprived.  
So here I go again, ascending up the stairs to our room, I guess you call it now. It’s also been 4 months sense we met, I feel inclined towards him now. I like him, his presence, I feel somewhat without when he leaves for the day, like he occasionally does. He stares at me through a wall of legos, his stare serious.  
“What?”  
“I am just looking at you Mello.”  
“Are you ever going to stop?”  
“What?”  
“The fucking rejection. You haven’t let me touch you in weeks.”  
“Did you want me to?”  
“Oh quit fucking playing stupid you know I want you to come out and interact with me.”   
He stares at me over the short wall of legos, the stands. I’m surprised he comes over to me with his fingers puppets, hands me the little him, it’s been put on a silver chain.   
“Not always together, never apart.” He states, the chain is long, almost as long as my rosary.   
“Near this is….” It’s romantic, not that he wants to hear that. “Thank you.” I clenched it for a moment before sliding past my hair and around my neck. I can’t help but smile, it’s funny. “I assume you have the little me?”  
“Always.” He held it up and I laugh at it, the expression my little me, he looks nothing as good as I but I respect Near for at least coming pretty close. He lightly touched the puppets together, I took that as a hint and went in for his face, my hands going behind his head my thumbs under this jaw. I get very close to getting what I want only for him to move his head down, I growl.   
“Near, this is so unfair.”   
“Why?” He mumbles  
“Because I want to kiss you and you refuse to even let me greet you even after 3 days of being apart.”  
“More details.”   
“Are you to let me kiss you?” He lifts his head suddenly and begins to speak.  
“Mello, I have not been letting you get close and not telling you why because what I’m currently enduring is very embarrassing?” I give a him a confused look.  
“But sense you seem so upset I’m not being quite myself, I can put aside myself enough to tell you.” I drop my hands.   
“White ones.. We have one biological factor still in us passed down from the first grey ones to become white ones, as our story goes. A factor that is not longer needed to reproduce, but we could never quite lose it. Some scientists theorize the reason we still have this is for the black ones, also known as the rebels. We possess this to attract black ones because black ones still engage in the old reproduction habits our ancestors have. As such to make us more attractive to our black one mate.”  
“So what’s your point?”   
“I’m in heat.”  
“Oh my god are you kidding me?” I started to snicker and grin, while his face turned a slight pink, losing all seriousness. “How long does it last?” I ask between snickers.  
“Month and half.”   
“Haha!” He’s the one holding the gun now, now he knows how I felt when he said sex would not bring him something important.  
“It’s not that funny, Mello, I don’t appreciate you laughing at such a problem.” Near glares at me, but he has to understand that his personality saying that is too funny to be take seriously.   
“Anymore I should know?”  
“The period will increase to 4 months when I reach full maturity.” I let out another cynical shrill. It keeps getting better and better.  
“Oh Near.” I calm myself, I’ll harbor this within myself and save for later battles of the wits. “You have to understand.”  
“I think I may, but I do not like it.” He gives me a stern look, I keep my grin.   
“Do I still get a kiss?” He turns his face up at me.  
“Even if I don’t get it now, I’ll get later. I want it and I’ll get it.”  
“Should I just get it over with now?”  
“You make it sound so vile, but you want me to want you.” He looks like a deer in the headlights,. I can tell he knows he did not know jackshit about this whole “mateship” thing and now that he’s lost at what to do next. “Is that a yes?”  
He doesn’t get a chance to say no.  
I grab his face, yanking his head up and giving him a kiss, it’s not romantic, it’s a big sloppy. But I have fun with it, getting all of myself in there, my tongue even swiping a little. I pull away letting go of his head and grinning smugly I peck him on the top of the head.   
He wipes his face of my spit and glares at me.   
“That was notf what I was proposing.”   
“You want me to do it again.”   
“No.”   
“Fine. You’re lucky, I got business today. You though, don’t wander far from the neighbor hood, the next time they catch you, there is a strong possibility they will not call me. I do not want to find you via escapee calls from Benny the Boy Pimp house.”   
“ Are saying you’ve saved boys?”  
“Yeah, ‘Benny’ does not stop the extreme abuse and rape of boys, as such most either run or learn how to fight. The ones that run, come to the mafia, the reason being most are underage. We may be into murder, robbery and drug dealing. But we do not take lightly to pedophiles and rapists.”  
“Oh standards.”   
“So can you imagine what might happen to Benny if I found out someone was aloud to brutally violate you?” He’s silent, perhaps because of his moral standards he doesn’t take my threat seriously. Near can’t handle himself and I know it. I don’t want anything to happen to him, I don’t want to lose him. You get only one shoot at wooing a white one. I’ve decided I want to hit that and beat the rest of the guys. Don’t tell Near that though he’d call me immoral and I would be rejected for a week.   
“I gotta go though, I’ll see you later, Snowflake.” I depart the room in a much better mood than before.   
~Near~   
He goes and I return to my work, not only had I been working on chaining that puppet for Mello, I created something to try and be positive with B. Because I want to know more about his white one, Light Yagami.   
I’ve been working on a finger puppet of Beyond Birthday. I’ve even bothered labeling it “B”. I want to offer my passage back into the white world, I would not be surprised if he had a edge of hatred for me simply because I am a white one. I’ve left the puppet to dry overnight, it’s dry. I place it into my hand cupping it protectively. I descended down the stairs shuffling across the living room and into the lower hall where B’s room lays. I continue to shuffle down the hallway to the very end room, which said “”. I knocked on the door and waited for the response.   
A few minutes later, B shows himself to me and we share a stare, hisd eadly, mine it’s normal void of emotion, unyielding and stone cold.   
“What do you want?”  
“I have created something for you.”  
“What do you want to know?”  
“Um?”  
“These walls are thin, I heard you digging through Mello’s life I imagine you already know my true name and everything about Mello’s other father.”   
“Actually no, I do not know everything about Light Yagami, I was at the execution of Princess Lilica the one you performed.”   
“So you want to know all about the life of Beyond Birthday?”  
“Yes, but I still put forth the effort to make this for you.” I held out the puppet and he stares at it.  
Then he smiles, a wicked, cynical, habit-smile, A smile born out of wickedness and sadness, not happiness or a simple weirdness. I want to smile back, but I know that’s not the purpose of the expression, it’s meant to rattle and warn the person he gives it to. He takes it from me and slides it on the end of one of his long slender pale fingers. He wiggles the puppet and the smile gets wider.  
“You did flatter me, Near.”   
“ I have to admit, I was not expecting such a response.”  
“You’re not worth my anger.” I don’t give a response.  
“But it is good you came, I wanted you to. You’re my tool.”  
“What actually are getting at?”  
“I will tell you the story of Light and I, but for one purpose, so can distract Mello.”  
“From what?”  
“Light is coming home at the end of the cold season.”   
“I will do that.”  
“You agreed so easily whats your motive?”   
“Mello.”  
“Oh he’s your everything now?”   
“What else would he be? Isn’t sort of my purpose to my people?”   
“Very true, I can’t blame you for wanting even me to like you just so Mello will be all the more willing to have you, after seeing the execution of Lilica.”  
“Princess.”  
“Princesses do not behave like cheap, dumb whores as she.”  
“You don’t think that as a little bit insulting?”  
“No I don’t think you should be taking pride in her as you do, she did something horrible and even Light paid. He wanted to die after I had said I wanted 8 years separation. I didn’t even give the chance to apologize, you do not understand my anger or former grief. So perhaps I should stop judging you for thinking of her as Princess who made a simple mistake, you can believe that all you want, it’ll never be the reality of what she was to your people and to me.” He knocks me out with that response, though it’s visible, I think to myself not only is his name odd, he’s probably a genius like myself.   
“Can I ask you a question about him, it’s something very important to me.”  
“Yes.”  
“Do you still love him?”  
“The only reason I still have a lingering sadness is because I am still madly in love with him.”   
“Explain to me how.”  
“Explain to me how you’re getting Mello to like you.” He glares at me, he considers Mello his possession, his second everything.  
“You have to realize something Near, I fell in love with the child the first day he approached me at my volunteer efforts at the orphanage. I was like a mother seeing her newborn for the first time.”  
He’s in a love affair with Mello, not my type of love affair of course.   
“After the incident, Mello was the only thing I felt was mine anymore, it didn’t matter he was person, it didn’t matter we were practically left with nothing. The 10 year old boy who loved me and clung me, was the only thing I had. Mine, love such terms I had lost a grip on and he restored that faith for me. He was the one thing I vowed Light could never have.” I am silent, I will not speak of my courtship of Mello, B should know better than to try to get me to spill my guts about Mello. Our courtship is sacred and not to be viewed or dug through by anyone.  
“Give me more than your refusal to tell me what you plan to do with my most prized possession.”  
“I need to make one fucking thing clear Beyond Birthday. You’re a killer, I despise your lack of moral sense, Mello is not your fucking possession, you don’t own him. I don’t own him, he chooses to come back to me and try to protect me because I’ve been held up in garden for all my life. Mello and I are not you and Light Yagami. Quit it.” I spit, my usual expression now represents how I feel. Oh how things work out, I end being the one pissed off.   
I instantly piss off B and I don’t care because if the fucker has any sense that hasn’t been drenched in maniacal love delusions of Light and Mello, he won’t try to hurt me. 7  
“What the fuck are you going to do about it.”  
“Mello’s 18 now he can leave if he fucking wants to.” Mello only stay because he fucking knows Beyond Birthday is totally out of his mind and Mello loves B enough to stay around for him. If was another way, Mello would have left by now. I’ve wasted paint and finger puppet base to pry this shit out of the crazy fuck. I guess I might as well tell him the flat out rules, he’s not the possessor of Mello and he will not being interfering with my courtship.  
“Don’t think you’re just so fucking mighty in your whiteness.” He laughs at me and hiss under my breath, peeling back my lip a little to show the ends of those lovely fangs of mine.   
“I am going to leave, I’m sure Mello will come home soon. It’s unfortunate you’re not the main antagonist of this story or I might take it father.” I turned on my heels and began to walk away, crossing my arms. I’m very irritated, I don’t want Mello to be home soon because we just got done with this and I fear may only begin another conversation I don’t want to have. I hear Beyond Birthday’s door close and no footsteps behide me. I go back up the room and lock the door. Nobody getting in here, I need to be left alone.   
~Mello~   
I had told Near I off to do illegal shit like I am most of the time, but I’ve actually found myself digging through various book dedicated to White and Black mateship. Most of it is poor attempts at understanding the romantic affliction and complication of White and Black love. I end up tossing most of it, expect for 2 books. Both written by the same author, but one is about the science of the white one biological sexual behavior and complete breeding behavior. One about the romantic views and thought psychology of White and Black relationship.   
I open the relationship book the first page of the book states  
“I’m assuming if you’ve picked up this book, you were chosen, unlike me. Though I’m probably dead to the world now and this book is only useful thing I ever did for my people. I need you to know, this book was born out of personal observation and personal interest, this book is full of theories that only you can confirm, you can seek out all the knowledge about white ones in the world. Only you can know the truth about your own white one, these statements in this book are very general, every white one is different and only you can state facts about your white one. Because your white one is the only one that matters and you shouldn’t bother with an interest of the rest of the white ones. That person looked for you and they may be disappointed you’re trying to box their love in such way as reading this book. Be wary. Take all this information with a grain of salt.  
~Bara”   
Only you.  
Only Near.  
My only.   
I read over the book, I fall into it, it’s very interesting and it is spoken like a scientific journal instead of a romance novel or a text book. I learn a lot of basics and I will be playing 20 questions with Near. I know he’ll be annoyed, but I’ll just stuff his mouth with my tongue. I close the book, satisfied. I stand and push in the squeaky chair. I put away the mess of books. I have no idea why there are so many romance novels back here based on the white and black love idea. I can already tell by the titles these people have probably never even met a white one, But like Bara the Author says, Near is unique.   
I leave the library shuffling quietly out as to not interfere with reading. I know most of these people, they never seem to leave this library. I step out into the cold, I can see my breath and I stare at the light casting from the street lamp on the stares. It’s so beautiful right now, it’d be better if Near were here maybe he wouldn’t be so prude about letting me touch him.   
It’s begun for me.   
I feel very good around him and I can’t help but wonder if he’s working his magic on me or I’m genuinely developing feelings for him. I smile up at the black sky wrapping my arms around myself. I breath out.   
“I even think of you, when I’m not searching for thoughts of you. Maybe my brain just likes the amount of dopamine the image of your cute face releases.” I pulled out my chocolate bar and take a bite, chewing and suck on it until the bite is gone. “Perhaps, a part of me hopes you feel the same.” I walk down the stairs and onto the walk, my motorcycle and slip on my helmet. Looking around, I climb on, rev up and take off. I manage to push him away enough to get home, only for my excitement about coming home to him after a full day of reading ‘about him’ to return. I almost skip up the fucking stairs god fucking damnit. I try to open the door to my bedroom and it’s fucking lock.  
“Near. Open the door.” A few moments later click and two grey eyes stare at me. I stare at them right back before moving right into my bedroom. He closes the door be hide me I set down my chocolate bar for a brief moment to remove my gear and into more casual clothing. Before going back to the bar, he sits next to me looking around. I start our talk.  
“Do you have something wrong with you?”  
“No, just nothing to do.”  
“You waited for me?”  
“For a little while, not too long.”   
“Sweet.” He then put his free hand on my leg and it’s odd that I do not get a sexual vibe from it. It sits there for a few moments before he suddenly get very close to me, still giving me that everlasting stare of his.  
Then he goes for it.  
He kisses me I manage to pull my head in shock, my eyes opening to look at him for no more than 3 seconds before I shove my head into his forcing my tongue into his mouth and Near doesn’t fight me, he just gets rougher. Shoving me back, I’ve never known so much fight, I forgot how brutal he can be. He grabs my hair with both of his hands and allows me to get a full intake of his mouth.   
It’s very quick when we do stop it’s slow steady stop, even we pull away I give him another kiss before he removes himself from me. He put his head on my lap, I can here him sniffing my pants.  
“Well.” I let him be.   
“We’re going to be all the more together now aren’t we?”  
“I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.”  
“Are you sure you have the whole world in your palm.”  
“I don’t need them, I want you. No fucking questions or hesitation, I need only one bestfriend, only one love in my life. I will call this person, Mello.” I smile at that, his eyes are closing but he’s very blunt and straight about what he wants from me.  
I think about the good things and horrible things, but mostly think about I could fuck things up. How he could as well.   
I find myself adjusting so we lay next to each other, this causes a half asleep Near to drift so he cling to my side while he sleeps. 

 

I think about more things while he lays there next to me, expect sense I’ve returned to him my brain loses the thoughts of him and restores the thoughts of Beyond Birthday. I think about my ‘father’, though I’ve never addressed by father or dad, he was always B. I wouldn’t really want any other way. I turn onto my side and the white haired creature next to me only gets more comfortable, wedging his way into my arms. He starts glowing that blue of his and I can’t help but roll my eyes, he glows whenever it get dark and he’s with me. I touch Near’s head possessively. I read in that book that black ones when they choose a mate often are possessive and vicious. But once a white one gives you color you become theirs and you can hurt them like no other. The author didn’t go into detail about it but she said the hurt was called ‘bleeding heart’ a phenomenon unique to white ones and can only be caused by a black one. She hadn’t described what it looks like.   
My hold becomes a bit tighter.  
“Bleeding heart…” I whisper softly.  
I close my eyes and my breathing starts to slow, I wonder if I glow as well when I’m happy. I’m most definitely happy right now, I can feel it a gush of mysterious warmth in my chest. I am asleep within the next 15 minutes.   
~~  
I wake up in the middle of the night, Near is gone from me, I wonder if it’s the reason I wake. I get up out of bed, the door is cracked, I go by the bathroom, no one. I go by all the rooms upstairs before descending into the lower hall, I start seeing a few things knocked over. I don’t hear B’s normal shifting, he’s up this late making things and I suddenly have a concern. Then I turn into our living room. I see Near.  
He’s laying on the ground, I can’t see him breathing.  
I scream.   
I run manically over to him, he has bruising in the shape of large hands with thick fingers on his throat. He is still breathing, but barely and his breathes are shallow. I pump his chest breath into him I only do this for 10 seconds before calling 911 quickly and violently.   
“911 what is your emergency?’  
“Please come to 13th street home 13 my lover has been strangled!”   
“Alright sir please calm yourself we’ll be right there.”  
I hang up and go back to Near, blowing air into him, holding him close to me the warmth inside as been changed to anxiety. “I’m right here, don’t die it’s not time..” I say in the softest voice I can muster, it’s trembling. The ambulance arrives and they practically pry him out of arms, the cops come. I act distressed, I know who’s done it, the mafia dragged Near down the stairs and strangled him. I act as though I’m clueless they buy it.   
I find myself tossing on shoes and heading over the hospital, disheveled and running a comb through my hair. When I arrive, they lead me to Near’s room.   
“We’ve hooked him up to a respirator, he’s going to be fine sense he is a white one his body will restore it’s self before the coma point. You alone may visit him. Because of who you are.”  
“Spouse right?” He states innocently. God fucking damnit.  
“We are not married but I do have a romantic affliction with him.” The truth, odd.   
“I see, I see.” He lets me past him, they didn’t put him in hospital clothes thank god, there’s a peak of grey eyes. I sit in the chair next to him and his eyes roll with pain. I put my hand over his, his look is so sad for once. 

Theres a pang of guilt for doing this to Near, I felt that even though I would never hit him, I’ve done this. I’ve punished him for trying to fall in love with me.  
He looks at me.   
“I’m so sorry...” I am facing him and displaying visible, genuine grief. I touch the pale hand, I can see the thick blue vein. He uses his other hand to point at his pocket weakly, I look around and put my fingers into his pocket it’s big enough I can dig around with my whole hand . I pull out the tiny me, I take the puppet around my neck then touch them together in a tiny wooden kiss, and he nods his head once.   
“We’re together; you do not belong to death today.”   
He links our fingers, he wants me here, I bend down and kiss his neck lightly. He has a bit of a blush, very very light pink gracing his face.   
“I will do something about it; the fucker who placed his hands around your neck will burn in hell.” I can feel that ting of violence that keep inside me, blood gushing of the USELSS FUCK who squeezed the breath out of Near.   
He inhales and exhales deeply, trying to express disapproval of my…longing for revenge.   
Near finally closes his eyes our small exchange must have taken it out of him. I leave, giving him a kiss on the forehead.  
Oh Near.  
I’m a blood hound.  
~  
~B~  
I’m out in the cold, for he is here tonight, his cage has been unlocked and now he flies right for me. He wants me, he needs me just as much as the first time he ever laid eyes on me. His soul mate. The creep. His creep. I’m smoking a cigarette with one arm around myself. My feet softly crunch the ice beneath me as I pace anxiously. Even as I wait just minutes away from see him again I still lack the knowledge of what my reaction will be. Will my heart return to me or will I be bitter and unwilling? I don’t know and a non-existent god is not dropping me any hints. I throw my cigarette bund on the ground grinding it.   
Where the fuck are you my love?  
That’s when the street light reflects golden brown hair and I know.   
“Light..” I coo to him I don’t even need to turn.  
“Beyond.”   
“I wasn’t expecting you.”  
“Yes you were or you wouldn’t have come.” He still has that innocent do-gooder tone I was always trying to burn with my acid.   
I turn my arms folded, his are at his sides I can see his breath.   
“Whatever interaction whether this will be a confrontation or you taking me back is your choice!” And I know your fully loaded for both Yagami.  
I walk up to him and I place my hand on the disheartened face, I smile, he’s so full of his fucking self. Bloated with self worth and a secret desire for love.  
Much like myself I suppose.   
“I love you, darling.” The name drips from my lips, not with sarcasm but with…pleasantry. Relief in a way.  
“Me too, Beyond Birthday.” I give him a brief kiss, I can push myself aside for this one thing. After all.

You’d do anything for your soulmate, right?


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
Marred   
~B~  
We’ve ended up on a bench, I sit in the position I used to sit in before he left for the while. He sits all proper and pretty, I stare at him and he glances over occasionally. He’s still beautiful, I suppose I can something with that.  
“Beyond?”  
“Yes?”  
“What now?”  
“Um?”  
“Is our story over, is that how it ends? Because I have to say, that would sadden me.”  
“Our story is not over..not yet..” I put my head on his shoulder, I can’t hold onto the past, I learned that the hard way with Lawiliet. “Light…..”  
“I can only imagine what you have tucked in your pocket you were never this forgiving.”  
“8 years of grief have taken out of me, I can’t find the energy to begrudge you at the moment.”  
“All this time over me?”  
“Well expect for the past 4 months.”  
“What has happened.”  
“Our baby has been chosen.”  
“Mello?”  
“Oh bother you remember him.”   
“Haha, I remember him as clear as day, B.”   
“I love you..” I whisper softly, almost like a reminder for myself, I do love him, I always have.  
It will be the thing that ends me.   
“I am happy to see you, I’ve felt so lonely without you. Despite what you may think B, you do add a certain aspect to my life that I had be without for 7 years.”  
“7?”  
“The 1st one I thought I’d be fine, then the second year came and I began to miss you.”  
“You better not be just sweet talking me, Yagami.” He gives a sorry-puppy look, doe eyed and everything else. It’s so fucking pathetic and I give it what needs.   
“Beyond Birthday I don’t how to convince you I am deeply sorry and I really want you back, that when I say I love you I fucking mean it.” I stare at him getting a little wide-eyed myself.   
He stands, “I can’t express it enough, I can show you documents. I’ve spent the past years obsessing over you and the day I would finally get to see you again. When I would see he who has my heart, fuck B, anyone can have my body or lustful desires but only you can have my heart. You always did. The day I was found guilty of my crimes and she was executed by you, they told me you were crying at the feet of Mello. I have never been so repulsed with myself in all my years of existing. So if you are going disregard so casually what is the truth about my feelings for you, there’s no real point in me being here.” I am shocked, my eyes feel as though they’re ready to jump out of my socket. I feel a sharp pain in my chest suddenly. I feel a warm tear down my cheek, he starts to walk away, I grab his hand.  
“You’re not leaving, not again.” I look down holding my face with my other hand, choking on my own emotions. “We can’t be separate, not now.” I stand and come around to embrace him, beginning to cry quietly, it’s not from grief. I can’t make a call as to where it’s from actually. He hold me back, his face in the crook of my neck, I forgot he’s two inches shorter than me.   
“You want me to take you back to my hotel room?” He knows me so well, to know I would almost automatically want to invade his space. Is someone who knows what I’m all about. I smile through my tears at him as I look his face once again, he leads back to the room in the same duckling format we always had. He’s the leader and I follow.   
Of course when we get there it’s the nicest place in the whole goddamn district. But I pay no attention to the detail, only the glass beneath my feet. The whole place knows who he is, knows who I am. They might have even been expecting me, the mysterious figure known only by the secondary letter in the alphabet.   
His room has a balcony, it’s a room made for two, either he was very hopeful that I would react the way I did or just very greedy. I stare the marble and the draped over bed, he’s totally still a fucking prince either that or he thinks he’s god because he was went to me.  
Cursed Blessing.  
He leads me to his bed, not for sex, I know him well. That’s fine I’m not even ready to penetrate him again. I still ache by the imagery of some trash heap princess riding him. I sit down on the bed in the position he always told me didn’t look comfortable and I always responded with “You know why though.”  
“Beyond Birthday..” He says to himself, But I hear it, I know he’s assuring himself I am here with him.   
“Stay in this room with me tonight.”  
“Sure.”

~Mello~

I’ve been bad, then I’ve been this. OCD with these guys who touched Near, is this how B felt when Light started eyeing someone other than himself. No, no it’s worse for B because of his eye problem. To see Light’s ultimate death, it must’ve been painful for him.   
I thank god everyday he didn’t curse me with the same thing when he brought me home.   
I climb out of bed, I have to visit Near before going on my manhunt. So I’m quick in my preparation and I skip breakfast, here comes the madness. I’m over at the hospital within minutes, my nerves unraveled. I anxiously bounce my leg in the waiting room, even though because of the specialty of the patient they don’t keep me waiting long. I inhaled and return to my chair from last night next to Near, his eyes soon pierce my soul.   
“I can’t stop the madness Near, I can’t let them get away. I’ve decided the cops won’t do what I feel needs to be done.” He gives me a disapproving look.   
“How badly did they crush your voice?” He suddenly removes the mask, I stare.  
“Mello..” He said in a weak raspy voice and put the mask back over his face, I can feel myself boiling in my skin. You fucking stole his voice, that’s to be expected but I can’t grab a sense of anything but vengeance to even assert my genius.   
I manage to control myself, hiding it to the best of my abilities, but he already knows. He reaches for my gloved hand, out stretched pale fingers brush against my leather glove. I capture his hand to form a crown with our fingers, I know what he’s doing, he’s delaying any sort of action.   
“You know how to delay me.” He only blinks slowly at me, he uses his other hand to outreach for my face. I scoot closer to the bed and he runs his hand down my face. He looks at me with likeness and I can tell he’s itchy already to be freed of the bed, he won’t be let go until his wind pipe fully restores. “You’re my responsibility you know that, Snowflake? You don’t understand my anger because you see more of yourself, you see more white ones. But I see only one and that is you, I’ve got one fucking chance. One chance for you to be Near and for me to be Mello. But through that makes he gives that look of blank despair, the void of emotion I’ve grown almost fond of, no the control I will forever envy.   
He stares and stares before I decide to leave, pulling away my hand “I have business to attend to..” I want to kiss his forehead but I do no such thing. He stares at me all the way out of his eyesight, the nurses and doctors stare at me, I ignore it. I hop on my bike and go straight underground mafia hide out, full speed. When I arrive, I arrive in a cloud of grey dust, I change out the clip and cock the gun, holding it in my hand. I approach the base, walking slowly down the metal hallway oh this all of own my design. The moment I open that wooden door, the whole room goes silent.  
“So boys which one of you shitfuck idiots, wrapped your fat hands around the neck of Near and squeezed almost killed him?” I cock my head to the side, they’re in the perfect circle, I scan the whole room, looking them each dead in the face. Then I see the one who did it, the one who attempted to murder the thing I like most in my useless existence.   
“You..” I hold the gun to his head.  
“M-Mello…” He’s truly terrified . That’s when I feel something hit over my head and shatter, I fall and the goons pin me, I fight back naturally. Bucking my hips, thrusting my umblr  
up, my shoulder blades going up into the guy’s chest, then a rag is stuffed up into my mouth.  
I pass out.   
~  
I wake up, looking around hazily. When my vision becomes clear, they’ve hog tied me. I turn my head , I’m soaked in gasoline in a metal room, the floor covered in gasoline.  
“Mello, Oh Mello, you betrayed us, lied to us and should disloyalties to us. All in the place of that little white bitch of yours. Now you will pay the price, boss.”  
“You won’t get away with it.” I chuckle madly, unleashing my inner terror upon them; I can be frightening.   
“That doesn’t matter, we don’t have anything to live for, let them take us, you need to pay.”  
I thrust against the metal the walls, eventually squirming anxiously for freedom against the tight bonds. My hair flinging gasoline everywhere, I grunt in frustration.  
“But instead of killing you we’ll just tear away the thing we know you love more than your little white bitch, your beauty.”  
Then through a tiny crack them light the whole room in a bright flash, within moments my whole body and the room is up in flames.  
I scream.  
~  
~Near~   
I wake up suddenly and turn my head towards the window out into the hallway, no chaos, but my heart it burns. I feel it, his distress. I get up out the bed, wobbly at first I soon regain my balance and wheel the respirator behind me, out to the office, people stare but soon shun their heads away. I can only assume I must be god to them.   
I go up the desk where a weary nurse writes reports waiting for doctors signature. I a woman with long nails and curly grey hair, very young looking.   
“Uh…Mr.River.”  
I take off my mask and talk in my raspy voice, “Call me..Near.” I huff, my real name has no meaning, I’m Near, not Nate.   
“Near, what can I do for you?”  
“I have been called by…” I take a breath, “My chosen one.”   
“You almost died, white one, you can’t leave.”  
“You can not legally…Keep me from him.” I glare at her.  
“But white one you have to understand, you’re very not well..”  
“Listen here you nurse, I must have an arrangement to seek him out.”   
“But white-”   
“Listen here, you can not legally keep me here away from my mate, if you deny me anymore I will report you and the white leaders and they will punish you as needed.” I let out a raspy hiss and cough a few times, before placing my mask back on. She scrabbles and I soon find myself in the back of a police car, they follow my lead. Where ever the burning inside me increases I tell them to go, then he receives a message of a man crawling out of burning underground way. Severely burned and dripping in gasoline. I inhale sharply and tell the fuck driving to hit the petal to the metal.  
We’re there as fast he drives, I get out, dragging my tank across the cold grey sand of the desert. I look for his scent, only his scent will do. Even as the scents of the pooling cops in the distance fill the air, I go foreword, a way into my walk I hear moaning, I remove my mask. As I get closer I see the moaning dot, past gasoline and burnt flesh I smell him. I walk faster, I can’t run it’ll take it out of me and restrict air flow. So I go onto him, when I see him clearly I see part of his face covered in a blistering, red and swollen burn. His clothes are burn off for the most part as well, his hair almost completely gone as well. Nevertheless, I hear his breathing. I know the cops followed me and they’ll soon see the horror I’m protecting. He looks at me with his good eye and it practically begs for me to stay with him. He probably thinks he’s going to die, he’s not.  
I get on my knees next to him, I go to touch his head, where his hair used to be and he flinches. I can see a tear roll down his face from the pain he’s in. The cops soon come, the paramedics air lift he and I back to hospital, where I go back to my room so that they mend Mello.   
They tell me I can’t see Mello for at least a night.  
We’ll see.  
~  
~B~  
As all flawed love stories go, I don’t leave the room and he stays, he knows better than to leave without knowing I’m going to be okay at this point.   
“Beyond Birthday..” He attempts to start a conversation for the 3rd time this hour, I’ve staring at the rolling grey sky and smoking for a long time now.   
“What?” I state not turning around.  
“What will you make of us?”  
“Give it time, you’ll get the same old B you always liked.”  
“Well maybe liked isn’t the right term.” Oh?  
I turn around and decide to walk over to where he’s placed himself. “What do mean by that, Light?”   
There’s glimmer of fear he’s going to piss me off with the next words, but they don’t anger me they make myself burn with life. Something I haven’t felt like in years.  
“What I mean is you are a very endearing character, ever sense the first day I meant you, despite my initial rejection, you never seem to catch me off guard.” He smiles sweetly at me. I grin.  
“My face hurts from not smiling Light, you convinced the white leaders to let you go early just rush into my arms. I’m more that flattered.”  
“Because I love you.”  
“Do you?”  
“I am not going to repeat it, even if you don’t believe me, I mean it.”  
“You know I love you, you have to understand.”  
“Are we still bound in marriage?”  
“Why wouldn’t we be?”  
“Because you held the power for us to not be bonded in love anymore.”   
“Marriage is not the ultimate bond, the moment you smelt me, the moment you let me mate with you and make you mine, that was our bond of love.”   
“So do you want me or not, it’s simple!”  
“Maybe, or perhaps I’m just over complicating things once again.”  
“Give me an answer still.”   
“Yes.” He reaches for my hand and I’m pulled foreword. “Oh his highness wants me?”  
“More or less.” He pulls his face to mine.  
~Near~  
I am walking through the hallway of Mello’s home, my bruises are gone suddenly, I turn around the corner. To find myself, I’m propped up against the door frame, my legs over Mello’s shoulder his eyes closed, his head moving. I back up and I look at myself, glow red and grin, my whole persona changing as the red eyes pierce my soul.   
I grab my heart, stumbling back farther, Mello removes himself from ‘me’ and stands to kiss me, I watch in horror then he speaks in a unwhitely voice.  
“You doesn’t love you, he loves the idea of you.”  
I walk up gasping, my eyes wide in shock against the grey sheets for just a brief moment. I get up and wheel my tank behind me to Mello’s room, I don’t care how hideous his appearance may be I need his comfort. It’s quiet, a TV buzzes, I enter the burn ward and straight into his room. His hair is mostly gone and the left side of his torso, head and leg is wrapped. I sat beside him and watch him sleep, I touch his bald head and suddenly, my magic goes beyond my control and I watch as the wound on the top of his head heals. Then in a electric spark of yellow his hair grows back, even going through the bandage. I stare at him, he is unphased from his slumber. Eventually I fall asleep as well, just staring…..  
~Mello~  
I woke up after the scene from yesterday, to the bumbling hospital, I feel a weight on my arm, it’s not heavy is just there. I look down at the sleeping Near. But I feel something soft around my head, not my pillow, my hair. I thought it’d be gone, Near must have wanted it back so he did the honors. I look down as him, breathing softly, using my now asleep arm as a pillow and his arms sprawled out, over my torso. It looks uncomfortable and I shove his head off and wake him with suddenly. He grunts at me, showing me his baby fangs.   
“Morning, Snowflake.”  
“More…or..less..” He’s regain his breathe slowing.  
“You gave me my hair I see.”  
“I know…how..much..you like it..” He stares at me with half lidded grey orbs.  
“If you ask them will they let me go?”  
“Mello, You want to get out so soon? Are you a big dumbass?”  
“No, the hospital brings back a bad memory.” When B attempted to burn himself and Rue saved him.  
“A or many?”  
“One.” He moves up closer to my bandaged faced, “Are we going to kiss now?” He removes his mask, he poses himself over me, supporting himself in a doggy position, not touching me. My good eye expresses my surprise. “On my healing bed really? Didn’t know you were that kinky Near.” I purr and he rolls his eyes.  
“I merely want a kiss without too much burden.” Near then lightly presses his lips to mine, almost like snow white, expect reverse. After he pulls away he gets off of me, I sit up, he stretching with a wince.   
“They put me in this fucking gown.”   
“Why exactly did only that half your face burn?”   
“The other half was in a pool of gasoline.”   
He looks at me rather shocked for a moment appears his face, before he acts as though it had no effect on him. I can’t help but smile, “You aren’t leaving are you?”  
“No I just need to fucking breath.”  
“So whats going to happen to them?”  
“The mafia? They’re going to be put to death for trying to kill you.”  
“They’re sure are a lot of things that you can be put to death for in white society.”  
“Most of the things you can put to death for revolve around the courtship of white and black.”   
“Is trying to kill me a horrible offense?”   
“Trying to kill both of us.”  
“Not even death wants us apart?” I chuckle.  
“Mello, I am aware that you think my motivation has no bases in me actually liking you, but I would say that at this point I do like you. It’s not just about success to my kind anymore.”   
“Oh you have emotions?”  
“I’m not having that discussion.”   
“You know I’m just fucking with you, right?”   
“I’m aware; I’m just not as amused at you.”  
I shake my head, reaching up to touch my hair, just to make sure it is not some sick joke like a wig. It is real; this fucker is more magical than I thought. Maybe Near is hiding a secretly shallow side to himself.  
“I don’t understand you, Mello.”  
“Oh genius doesn’t understand?”  
“You’re a genius as well, you’re also idiotic.”  
“Oh thanks.” I reply sarcastically, he smiles at me.  
“You’re almost always grinning at me now, Mello, explain that.”   
“You make me happy, because the sky is always grey.”  
“Does that mean you look foreword to coming home to me?”  
“Well I’m not going into some sappy thing about my feelings.”  
“Shame.”  
“You smile a lot more than you did when I first I met you? Where you always that way?”  
“No. I was always by myself, to be truthful some days I thought you didn’t exist and that my people made a mistake placing me here.”  
“Well now you’re mine.”  
“That’s a bit possessive, I claimed you with my color first anyhow.”  
“Oh shit wouldn’t wanna burst your bubble.”  
He laughs lightly, at least I interpret it as a laugh, “You’re hard ass head would have made it impossible for me to do it any other way.”  
“At least I get comfort from you, I feel as though you’re not some piece of shit.”  
“Oh really?”   
“Well all my previous relationships have ended up in either the other person cheating or the person growing so distant, they couldn’t understand what type of burden I am.”  
“Why were you cheated on?”  
“People misinterpreting who I am completely.”  
“Well..” He has a thoughtful look, his eyes are on me, but they think of someone else.  
“Near.”  
“Yes?”  
“What are you thinking about?”  
“Nothing important…” He shoos the thought away, I grab his hand, forcing it into my lap. He stares at me. “I thought we agreed about the sex thing.”  
“We’re about to have that talk again.”  
“Are we?”  
“Near, you may say I can have a prostitute and you’ll be unaffected and silent about it. But I could fuck all the females in both are worlds and it would not satisfy me like pounding you would.”  
“While I’m so charmed, the answer is still not yet.” He yanks away his hand, but I grab again.  
“Oh just let me even feel your hands.”  
At that moment B shuffles into my room, carrying my bag of clothes and jewelry, he looks happier than usual. I question if it’s a hospital act. Just for the nurses to view, but once they leave aurora stays, I give the wolf a skeptical look.   
“Look at this, you really look mine now.” He runs a burned scarred hand down the good side of my face, I’m the only one not terrified of him. Even Light bowed to him.   
“You’re a bit late to chase.”  
“Well at least I came for you.” There’s a chair on the other side of me and he slides into   
it.  
“Joy to the world, B has decided to crawl out of his cave.” I reply sarcastically.  
“I love you.” B lights a cigarette, figuring they weren’t going to stop him.  
“Have you come to drag me home, you know Near can’t leave.”  
“Actually.” Near interjects, “I can leave with you, it’s boring here and I want my entertainment, I’ll be off of this oxygen mask soon enough.”  
“I’m leaving today, you stay here.”   
“No.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I’ve grown so used to us either sleeping in the same bed or the same room.”  
“Oh you want my warmth.”  
“No, I’ll discuss it with you later.”  
“Oh you can’t take about it front of me.” I can hear the smile in Beyond Birthday’s voice and I think maybe he’s happy for me for a moment. Then I realize it’s B and things can get real dark, real quick.   
“No, our relationship is a sacred bond to which-“  
“Yeah, yeah, Powdered Doughnut, I understand that scripted bind more than you do.” He puffs out smoke.  
“Perhaps you really don’t.” His eyes widened at Near, surprised.  
“Well, hehehe, maybe you’ll see once you load the love train all the way on Mellsies.” I roll my eyes, he’s either called me Mellsies or my real name my whole life. His phone rings and he leaves once a voice comes over the other line, I sigh as he vanishes from my view. Seemly anxious, I can only assume he just left. I get out of bed and change my clothes, ugh I’m gross, I need to shower. Before I put on my shirt I feel a pair of arms around my waste, he’s sniffing me I can feel him sniffing me like an animal during mating season. I can also feel his mask rubbing against me.  
“Like what you see.”  
“That and the skin releases your scent, the skin is the best place to sniff.”  
“Wouldn’t you like it all over you?” I smirk.  
“Shut the fuck up, Mello, you always ruin my attempts at being loving towards you.”  
“Well too late now, I’ll make you love me, you don’t get options anymore.”   
“My only other options to begin with were failure or death.”  
“I’m better than both those things, do I feel special.”   
“I rather like you.” He pulls away, I finish dressing myself, his mask around his neck. I turn back, wrapping my arm around his shoulders, forcing his head up with my hand. I give him a heartfelt kiss. I depart from the room, taking all the bandages and eye patch bandages I can. Near just watches, the follows me out.   
Everyone gasp at the little bit of burned face they see, still Near holds onto my side. I approach the desk with him, the nurse holds back her disgust, it has occurred me the only opinion I currently care about is my white one’s.  
My white one.  
Never thought I’d ever be able to use that one.  
“Where are the signout papers?”  
“Sir your burns are 3rd degree, you just spent one night-“  
“My father is B, he’s a burn victim he is much more suited to take care of me than any of you.” Actually he’s not, I just can’t stay here.  
“Sir I can’t.”  
“Listen Miss, You will let my mate here leave, if you don’t… Well I suppose my threat is invalid sense I plan to report you anyways.” Near spoke, her eyes widening and she scrabbled to do as I wanted, I was out.  
“Mello.”  
“Don’t worry, Near, you’ll be in my possession again. Just be good.”  
And I leave.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
Pure 

~Mello~   
It’s been 2 weeks sense I last saw Near, I’ve healed a bit, he’s coming home today. The hospital says expect for some lingering bruising he’s like brand new. I’m excited to see him, I’ve grinning most of the morning, they’re delivering him to the house. I even got dressed completely to see him again. I hear the car pull up, I walk outside, he gets out the car in his normal clothes. He reaches out for me, I almost run up to him, I embrace him, my face going into his hair. My hair draping over like a privacy veil, his arms return my hold. I soon move him back into house. Shutting the door click as the car speeds away.  
“I missed you…” I tell him.  
“Yeah I can tell…” Near replies, slightly muffled, giving me a smile briefly.  
“You see what happens when I try to be romantic the cold hand of Snowflake comes over me and crushes my bigger dreams?” I hear a slight giggle escape from his chest.   
“I didn’t crush your dreams, Mello, you got the dream everyone else would have given their souls for?”  
“Oh yes sometimes I forget to fall to your feet and bask in the glory of you.” I snicker.  
“In a perfect world it would be quite opposite, but sense the novelty of white one in this society so high, it ends up reverse.”  
“So you’re saying you’re suppose to worship me because I was chosen by you?”  
“By our society you are heavenly gift for me and you’re beauty to be admired, envied even by all 3 of the worlds.”   
“So even I was ugly I would still be beautiful?”  
“In my eyes and the eyes of my people, you’d be beautiful.” He knows I’m a sort of vain and I always have been even without my color.   
“Are you saying you find me pretty Near?”  
“Why wouldn’t I? Though I would say it’s just a bonus.”  
“You would like me no matter how ugly I appeared?”  
“Yes.” He says it as a definite not even an if or but, just yes I would love you no matter how fucked up your face. Which is something I’ve always wanted someone to say to me. I decide to drag him back upstairs with me, well it’s not really a drag because he willing follows me.   
“I wanted to be alone.” He gives me a skeptical look, I can tell he really thinks I might try to pull some shit with my face still hurting. Maybe, if I had just a dash more deviousness in my soul, I might have. But I just want to be happy right now, I have no battles to fight my boyfriend is home and I feel better than I ever had. I feel relaxed, even though I am the child of chaos, as Beyond calls me. I blame him for my need to be that way. “Not for sex or anything, I just want no interruptions.” He gets me and sits down next to his toys which have gathered a layer of dust, he picks each one up and dusts them off. He looks so sympathetic towards his toys, I realize it’s because until he got me they were his companions. I walk up behind him and bend put my arms around his waist, kissing behind his ears, he bumps his head lightly into mine.   
“You look so thoughtful.”  
“Actually my mind was blank until you couldn’t control yourself.” He says it with light hearted content, Near moves his head to kiss my bandaged cheek. I find myself a bit smitten he smiles at me before removing my arms. Is he trying to act coy? No not coy he’s playing with me, “But I do have my favorite toys.” He purrs, trailing his fingers over the closet handle, I look at him before his grin spans wider across his face and he darts out of the room. I smirk and go after him, he makes me go after him about the house, even hiding some places until I find him. Eventually I tackle him into the couch with a soft thud and the room is filled with odd, playful laughter escaping from both him and me.   
“You got me, Mello..” His breathing is a little heavy and my face is in his stomach.   
“Don’t you forget it.” I say laying my head down on his chest, he strokes my hair once. It’s odd, I feel so liked in Near’s presence, maybe it’s because he’s always telling me fucking me is not his main priority or even one of his major priorities, it’s very little. I find comfort in the fact that he has said that when he is fully ready for me he will tell me. I often monologue Near as simply ‘him’ I don’t think he would like that, but I don’t note other people like that. It’s a special habit I’ve taken up just for Near. ‘Him’.  
“Mello, please tell what you are thinking.” He asked out of the blue.  
“Nothing important just sorting my thoughts.”  
“Do you think of me when I’m not around?” Oh don’t get all insecure on me.  
“Well of course, I’m around you a lot.”   
“…”  
“You’re only getting more tangled and lost in this whole romance thing, aren’t you?” I peak up, he’s blankly staring the wall. Perhaps maybe he’s reached some sort of harmony. “Near? Are you awake in there?”  
“Yes.” His eyes dart to mine before going back to the odd staring, I lay my head back down and rest into the silence, it soon becomes so quiet I hear only the sound of a white heart beating.  
~  
I must have fallen asleep because I wake up hazy and bit unsatisfied, he’s been asleep too but my stirring wakes him up. He wakes up with one of his kitten yawns and the white fangs shine in the light, I get up off of him there’s no way his lower half isn’t completely numb. I stand and stretch he attempts to do the same but he almost falls, I catch him by the arms. He gives me an almost childlike innocent look, before I prop him up.  
“Little bit numb?”  
“I’ll be fine in a minute.”  
“Say we still got daylight I want to take you to my church, don’t worry it’s not service hours but it’s open.” He looks at me oddly but nods, we regains his feeling and stands up. I move to leave briefly to get my rosary and such. Leaving him standing there for a minute or two.  
~  
~Near~  
Place of worship, I forget he’s not faithless like me. As godly as I may pretend to be, Mello thinks there is a god a real one that’ll lead him to good grace in the afterlife. I hope he will get his wish. He comes back down,  
“You trust me enough to ride on my motorcycle with me or you still want to walk everywhere?”  
“I trust you.” He nods and leads me to the vehicle he’s so very fond of, he hands me his spare helmet.   
“When I was smaller Matt used to ride on the back but the whole bisexual thing comes into play and things got a bit awkward for him.” I want to roll my eyes or be sassy but I know what he means, if you’re over 16 it seems homosexual to have your male best friend pose with you on a bike. I put it on and he chuckles a bit into his.  
“What?”  
“You look like a bobble head.” He claims on top the motorcycle and claim on behind him, “Hold on tight I don’t want my Snowflake to blow away.” I grab on to Mello’s waist tight and my head against Mello’s back, the soft leather against my helmet. He takes off and I look at everything speed past me, I am left almost breathe less. So when he stops at the church I am taken out of my element, my daze ends as I get off. I take off the helmet and fluff my hair backup a little. He locks the thing down and leads me inside, I stare at grey oak wood. The door creaks softly, I look around the soft grey flames flickering, the room dimly light by candles. Dark grey light pushing through various religious depictions, he selects a random row of benches. He and I sit together of course.   
“It’s very peaceful in here.”  
“This is the best time to come.” He stares off dreamily, eventually he begins a catholic prayer and I stare at him. The light reflects the yellow strands perfectly, it makes it seem like he can glow as well. I wonder what he’s saying, he’s silent, I know for a lot of people this would be boring. They may even demand to leave for something more exciting. But the truth about myself being I couldn’t think of being anywhere else, he likes me so much he wanted me to join him in prayer. He’s not very gentle, but at least I know he does have a kind side to him. Though I’m also aware I get special treatment from him because of who I am.   
Eventually he looks up with a soft whispered “amen”, he stares back at me. “You want to know what my prayer was about, don’t you?”  
“Isn’t that the sort of thing you keep secret with you and god?”   
“Well maybe you can be trusted.”  
“Can I?” He looks at me for a moment before grinning.  
“No I won’t tell you, if I told you that might imply something I’m not ready to tell you yet.”   
“Oh that you love me? I don’t need you state the obvious.” I joke half heartly but he gets a stunned look. It appears as though I’ve made a well earned guess of his true intention for me. I also know he’s not ready to admit to himself quite yet.  
“No.” He says almost coldly, but I don’t take offense, I know it’s a defense.   
“I love you too.” I say so low only he can here, “I can think of no better place to tell you than before god.” I keep my head down, suddenly feeling a bit sick. He pulls up his hood, before pulling me into his embrace, one hand on my head the other arms tight around my waist. He kisses me from the side of my head down to my neck, take it as a yes. “Mello…”  
“Nate River…” He purrs in my ear, it sends a shiver down my spine. “Let me…” I push him away.   
“When you’re fully healed we will.” I look him in the eyes, so he knows I mean it. He nods as a response before giving me a passionate kiss on the lips.  
~  
It’s been 2 months sense the church going, I’ve been helping Mello heal even slipping a bit of my magic into the care to speed things up. But I know as I see the final bits scarring up, he’s gearing himself up for me. I’m beginning to think promising him my body was a huge impulsive decision and I should wait. I’ve been thinking a lot on it, it makes nervous. I’m nervous but I’m hiding it because I know either my nervousness will encourage him or he will think I have some white one thing were I don’t want him to see my body.   
~  
Another week passes and he’s finally fully restored, well expect for the massive scarring on the left side of his body. It’s raining and I stare out the window, I hear Mello shuffle in. I turn; he look is kind of tragic and kind of romantic.  
“Near…”   
“Mello..” He hold out his hand and places me on the bed. He then he kneels before me holding my hands and looking up at me. I let out a nervous breathe.  
“Do you trust me?”   
“Yes.” He stands again, “Then undress yourself if you mean it.” My eyes widen, suddenly I can’t hide my nerve anymore.   
“Mello let me do it the other room.” I’m half tempted to run, but I won’t I’m suddenly in a now or never situation.   
“Fine. Just come back and make sure B doesn’t see you.” I scrabble out of the room and into the rest room. I look at myself in the mirror, I slowly unbutton my shirt and let it slide off my shoulders. I inhale deeply looking up, before undoing my pants and slipping them off along with my boxers quickly. I don’t even look at my now naked reflection, I turn to the door and turn the handle slowly, Exiting the bathroom I enter the room once again. Mello has his top half off and has unbuttoned his pants, he smiles and walks up it me. He reaches behind me swiftly shutting the door and locking it, Mello shove me onto the bed posing himself over me in a domineering fashion. I look him in the eyes, with my face flushed and weary.  
“You ready?”  
“As I-I’ll ever be…” I close my eyes as he kisses me running his hands all over me, almost excitedly, eventually he starts using his mouth on me, kissing down lower and lower. Until he reaches what he wants, putting my manhood in his mouth with a gross wet ‘pop’. I squirm as he begins he told me he did this in the but never have I ever…  
I sit up,“Mello, Mello, you don’t have to..” His hand commands me to lay back down by lighting pushing me. He makes eye contect with me before beginning to bop his head dragging his tongue up and down, I moan quietly trying to keep my noise down. He keeps going and going for some reason making very much eye contact with me, my noises fill the room along with gross sucking noises. I finally come and he swallows, but before he can swallow it all I grab his face and launch myself at him, I want to know what I taste like. Basically attempting to find out why he’s swallowing, he kisses me back as a distraction while he works his pants off and grabs the lubricant on the dresser next to us.   
He grabs my ass and squeezes hard, I squeak as he squeezes the tube and rubs plenty of the cold shit on me and I freeze. Mello stops kissing me automatically and growls at me.   
“Are you going to make me stop?” I hesitant but I give feedback quickly.  
“No. Don’t stop.” He returns to his kissing, he reaches behind me and begins to scissor me. It hurts and I whimper, that only causes him to get more aggressive. He rolls over posing over me again on the bed, before lifting up my legs to get in me better. “Mello please..” I squirm almost kicking him.   
“Fine if you just want me to just go for it I will.” Not even 10 seconds later Mello enters me and I yelp in pain. He grunts and tries to move, I object. He stops. “Near what do you want?”  
“Just give me a minute.” Good fucking god it feels weird, I need a minute to ajust. I try my best to get as comfy as possible, to which I find is impossible. “Do whatever.” Mello makes a snarky comment about me under his breath, he begins to move and I feel a bit sickened. Not by him of course.   
“You look I’m torturing you.” He attempts to look me in eyes and I refuse, turning my head I can feel my face it’s probably beet red. I can’t think of myself in such a way, if I had a mirror right now I would probably break it. Mello stop suddenly he doesn’t pull out, “I’m not raping you what’s going on?”  
“It feels strange...” I confess hesitantly.  
“Do you not have a prostate or something…” He goes back to moving clearly searching for something.  
“I never indulged my self in that part of my ana-!” Suddenly all the blood rushes in my body and I moan a bit loudly.  
“Haha, I think I found what you need.” He then proceeds to just slam that over and over again, I think he’s getting off on how loud I’m being. He smoothes over my skin, grabbing my hips, he’s been looking at my nude form for a solid 15 minutes and he just now grabs my hips. I rise up into the air, he wraps his arms around me and thrust up into me. That’s it, I’ve had enough I cum into his stomach with a squeak and pathetic moan. It feel good and I think my awkward sex is over. But he wasn’t done, he gives it a few more thrust before he comes as well, with a loud moan. He tosses me lightly onto the bed, collapsing next to me. He clearly put forth his best effort to make it a bit less painful and awkward for me. I give him credit for that.  
“Well I tried…” He pulls the sheets over himself, laying propped one elbow.  
“Yes I know, I thank you for that, I enjoyed it a little…”  
“I know, it’s always awkward and painful the first time, but you’ll grow to want it as it feels better.” He throws the sheet over me as well, getting closer to me; it feels even more private, his blond locks and my white curls touch we’re so close. I reach out to touch his hair, “I like you have that same expression even after sex it’s amazing.” He jokes, referring to my composu+re; I smile at him.   
“Well it’s natural for me.”   
“Why in the beginning did you say sex is not natural or some shit for your kind?”  
“It’s not that it’s not natural, it is that it’s no longer needed. A lot of white mates go without ever having sex, our genitals are a mostly useless part of our bodies at this point.”   
“Oh really, you seemed to like my mouth on your cock so you can throw your science about your reproductive organ out the window.”   
“Mello you mu-“ He smothers me in a brief kiss.  
“I understand I just don’t care.” He cuddles up next to me, his head on my chest, kind of possessive in nature.   
“I’ve read that in black ones-“  
“Near, if you’re going to try and make this not special with the science of my species mating habits I’m going to have to tell you to shut the fuck up.” He doesn’t even look up.  
“Why?”  
“All that matters is the mating and courtship of your black one, who gives a fuck about the rest of the species.” I am quiet after that, not really possessing a response worth saying. I think eventually he falls asleep because he rolls off of me and curls his back to me. I creep out of bed, I feel so awfully dirty. So I head to the shower with the occasional wince of pain, god I hurt. I get in the shower and run it over my skin, letting it burn slightly. I’m all gross between my legs, cold lubricant and semen crusted both my ass and between my thighs. I groan as I sit on the tiled floor, tipping my head back. I know I shouldn’t feel so gross but I do. The scent of sweet fruit fills the air and steam surrounds me. I find that even after I clean myself, I just want to sit. To bask in the heat and bubbles until I fall asleep too, but I know Mello will want me to return to his side. So I hoist myself with another groan of pain and turn off the water. I step out wrapping a towl around myself and shuffling back to the bedroom. Mello turns to look at me, drowsy. 

“Hurry up and come back to lay with me.” He grumbles., I sigh and pull my towl up to my head to dry my hair the best I possibly can. I throw on my clothes and sit on the bed next to Mello. He reaches for me lazily, I brush his hand with my own. I think to myself about why I am so indulgent of his wanting of me. Normally I think I would deny such a thing, just as my parents sentenced me to that god awful search because they didn’t want me. “Near…”  
“Yes?”  
“You always look funny with all your curls drying.” He chuckles, he always says this, it must humor him to see my hair a bit wild. He begins the waking process, stretching his limbs and yawning. He wasn’t asleep for very long but I can tell he doesn’t want me to do something that doesn’t involve him. Selfishly he wants me, it’s a branch from the whole black one thing about ‘you mated with me, now you’re mine’. After the first time, two black ones will spend the rest of the day together in order to make sure they’ve chosen the right one. Choosing the one to mate for life with is the intent, but as all things go young black ones often rush such a choice and end up going through 5 or 6, instead of 1 or 3 to find their mates for life.   
Then I get a question.  
“Are you ever happy you were chosen by me instead of searching through more people for your life mate?” He gives a confused look at first but sits up and starts to speak.  
“In way it’s a relief to have something that you know will not leave you because it would die if it did and not of your doing. You’re mine, completely mine, something I’ve always wanted.” He stares me dead in face, he’s trying to read me, to crack me open and get me to become putty for him. However, he fails to recognize, he was my toy first. He’s used to other submitting, being afraid of his empty threats, tight clothing and cold feelings towards death. He’s numb to it or he perceives it as no exceptions rule. Maybe if I died, he would simply become distant and never love again. Others would see this as feeling ‘nothing’; I would see it as an extreme form of grief. He’ll eventually say the words I want to hear, the words to stitch my doll of self together, forever. “You still want me to tell you I love you.”  
“One may never be sure unless you directly tell me.”   
“You don’t need it though, if you weren’t completely or even mostly positive I feel something very strong for you, we wouldn’t have fucked.”  
“Say it.”  
“You need it that badly?”  
“I’m sick of this talk and this prying to get you to admit your feelings, tell me, stop bullshitting because you think this is some type of game.” His eyes get wide briefly.   
“Whatever I’ll tell you when I feel it’s right.” He dismisses the thought and now I’m irritated, I get up and sit among my toys. Starting to construct things, my expression becoming cold and void. “You can’t seriously be that pissed about it.”  
“It’s not about that only, it’s about your own hypocrisy having me profess to my emotions in front of your god and you don’t even do it back.”  
“I never requested you say that you love me, you did that of your own free will.”  
“I still find it idiotic you wouldn’t actually say it to me.”  
“Near….”  
“Mello.”  
“I love you.” He says softly, I want to be ridiculous and tell him I forced it out. But he gives me that look of ‘please believe me’.   
“I love you too, but fuck, Mello.”  
“Next time we won’t have a pissing contest, it’s pointless I see.” Why would you think it had a point to begin with?” “I’m going to go take a shower don’t leave.” He stands up and exits.   
~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that ending was a bit awkward....I need to work on that....


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow good job Mello

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OCs I guess?  
> They're minor characters made-up just for Near's family and this story, nothing more.  
> I feel like this chapter is weird????  
> I don't know.

Chapter 9  
Paved Roads  
~Near~  
In the weeks following the incident, I was suddenly about as excited about Mello touching me as an ant in honey. Of course that led to a harsh reaction on his part, to which I brushed him off, washed him out of my hair and went about. Eventually he concluded the whole incident had put me in an odd discomfort, he told me it was weird. I told him that he couldn’t understand. The response was calling me a stereotypical self-righteous white one.  
Even after all that bullshit, he still sleeps besides me. One of the traits that endures me towards Mello is his outstanding loyalty which is all too often obscured by jack-assery and denial of my existence. Right now, here we are, in the same tiny grey room we have been for 8 months now. His eyes piercing my skull as I read a cheap book on behavioral analysis of white ones, It appears to be written by someone who has seemed to have never even heard of us beyond the legend of the chosen ones. I find myself putting it down soon as it’s intensely hard to read because of it’s inaccuracy. I sigh.  
“Oh so you’re done?”  
“Because it mattered to you.”  
“I’m bored and there’s only so much staring I can do before I want to touch.” He glares.  
“You’re right next to me, it’s not like I am stopping you from touching me.” He decided to roll over, I secretly knew what he meant but I didn’t let him win the guilt trip game.  
“You’re still just as unsatisfying as ever, Near.”  
“Unsatisfying? As opposed to what, promising something I can’t give?”  
“You know it’s not a lot of you and yet you chose to not even get that pretentious stick out of your ass for me. You’re supposed to love me, right?” And I do, Mello, oh more emotion than I could ever muster for anyone.  
My silence to those words leave the air heavy and I hear Mello’s breathing become a bit anxious before he flips again and huffs. In pretend anger, a mask to hide that he’s upset I did not respond with an ‘I do’. He looks a little heartbroken for a second but quickly pushes it away to confront me about my sudden rejection of his body.  
“Was it the scar, something physically wrong with my body?” No you’re body is fine and only one I want to touch mine. “Did it hurt that bad?” The pain was subsided quickly for pleasure, you did a good job on me. “What the fuck is it, Near? Why the fuck don’t you want me to touch you or even just kiss you?”  
Another brief silence before Mello sits up and begins to talk again. “Maybe you and I need to go somewhere.” I imagine he thinks maybe B’s seemly everlasting imprint on his house can be escaped, little does he know, we can never fully escape Beyond Birthday. Whether back at the white world or in Mello himself. Sometimes when Mello talks he’s just like Beyond Birthday and that sometimes causes me to distance myself. Very few things scare me or even mock me but B is one of the few things that could rattle you deeply.  
“We’re going Near. I have something I wanted to ask you.” He gets out of bed and dresses properly for leaving the home. I get out of our bed and brush myself off, I don’t really have different clothing for different places and I didn’t sleep in these. So I don’t bother with anymore than that, I follow Mello out of the room and go down the stares. Beyond Birthday sees us from his perch in the window seat and stops us.  
“Where are you two going?”  
“Somewhere, anywhere actually.” Beyond lifts his head gives Mello a small smile and nods. He knows, just from Mello general statement he can read it all, like a book. The world is at his mercy, he makes sure the only one who can profit from this reading is Mello. I’m thinking too much, every little thing is too much for me. Crazy break from the logical genius mind set in trade for emotion. It’s awful and amazing.  
“Be all you are, the greatest you are.” I think no more on B and leave with Mello, “Sense we’re going a lot of nowhere, let us just walk. You could use it anyways.” I walk beside him on the concrete for a bit under the looming grey sky before he starts again. “It’s been a chaotic time with you.”  
“It’s very little our fault, I see it as more of a challenge than a burden.” I lie, it’s a pain in my ass that I rather not have but I figure to let up a little sometimes. We’ve already fought enough for the time being. No, I’m not in the mood to deal with his weight.  
“Well, Snowflake, aren’t you just in a better mood than you’re letting on.” He nudges me playfully and smiles, I look at him and can’t help it, I crack a smile. He puts an arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer to him, “Why don’t we go to that little garden where you waited for me, yeah?” Don’t say it like that.  
“Suddenly you like that place?”  
“What better place to go, I mean we aren’t really PDA people.” He’s right, it’s too much emotional vulnerability for me to put my affection on display. So I ‘transfer’ ( to avoid the cheesy term ‘portaling’) us back to the place where we first began our bond. It looks so old now. I can see why I had liked it though, it’s blocked off and protected, mostly void of anything but myself and black roses. Mello lets go of me, I stare at the pathway,  
“I think you like this place more than you originally let on...” I chuckle and start our in-sync movement foreword. He follows up with a laugh,  
“Well how could I not have some type of sick love for this place, you dragged me here to try and make fulfill your prophecy. However you want to phrase it, it’s all the same concept.”  
“You act like it’s a myth and you’re going to wake from a coma to find I’m not real.”  
“No, it’s not that it’s all fictional. You’re abilities are definitely real as my appearance screams. Just some parts of it I believe are truly to justify the religious aspects behind this to keep the program alive. People love religion and if everyone keeps thinking this truly is because of some prophecy of the founder of your church and not a government based operation, then, the funding rolls in.”  
“That’s where you’re wrong about this program.”  
“How so? Please enlighten me all mighty.” The sarcasm is thick in the air.  
“The Lost Words are real, the prophet really wrote them. Whether or not they were a direct preaching through him by our god is vague. For me, not for everyone else. For all white kind, The Lost Words and The Story of Eternity are the rules of the universe. The one truth for everyone, all black religions are wrong, only The Story of Eternity can give you truth. It’s like the whole species is one cult.”  
“That still doesn’t mean anything or prove me wrong, I know that The Lost Words are a real document. It doesn’t mean it’s real.”  
“Mello, you as a religious black one, who believes his god is very real should understand better than anyone.” I stop when reach my old pod, which is just know beginning to wither. “The Lost Words is short containing only 5 revelations, the only revelation used is the passage entitled ‘Pieces of Everything’. The passage is about how God had told the prophet about how she, had found a way to give peace to our people. One black one and one white one, bound by a love greater than anything in the universe. She and her mate broke themselves into the world. That war shall end so that these two creatures may be the peace between our kinds.”  
“What kind of power some things have.”  
“But it can’t be all tainted and untrue, surely, there is some kind of reason we get behind in this.”  
“What, Near?” A smirk, he’s wanting for it.  
“We have each other, it’s enough to let the system be.”  
“Oh you’re so government for once, that’s out of character for you  
“It’s not pro-government, Mello. At all. The exchange of you and me is not as bad as you would like to believe. Because even the government believes in the church, we might as well ride it out and us it to benefit us, if nothing else motivates you to stay the path of course.” I grin, brushing off the thought. It couldn’t be truer, it’s not evil, by no means. It’s a pure stupid cult belief system shared by white kind no matter what status. They believe I’m a child of god, that my soul was born right from her. My body is only a manifestation of myself in white form; I’m actually just a shard of her. Or some shit like that. They also really believe Mello was convinced by her husband god and that, because they love each so much but can not be whole, Mello is a shard of him given to the black ones to please the piece of her in me. The peace making  
It’s stupid, but white kind actually believe our power comes from a greater god and is not just a example of our advanced nature. That I need worshipped because the prophet said so, I could not be less amused with the attention. Though, I would have to wonder what type of depravity our gods harbor for Beyond Birthday to be a piece of them. It’s truly something one white kind might use to question Her Divine Truth church’s whole establishment. However, no one would ever question everything they believe in.  
“See, now you think about it all...” He laughs again, I’m enjoying the light air for once.  
“Yeah but not the way you want me to.” He decides to close the distance between us, looking down at me dead in the face. We do not bear smiles exactly, but we’re happy just to be around each other the way I always dreamed.  
“So we’re planned, is everything planned.”  
“Ideally for our government, it’s an idea that we might be a definite funding for them. Not that I wouldn’t be happy as long as we’re together. Their money troubles will never worry me as long as it doesn’t effect us.” One thing Mello tends to forget is that I don’t need lavish ceremonies or whatever bullshit they want to throw my way. I’ll be fine as long as Mello’s secure to my hip.  
He smiles at me, “Well aren’t you just in a pleasant mood suddenly? Must have been homesick a bit?~” He almost purrs that, “Maybe I did make the correct move.” He swoops behind me and grabs my hand, his other on my waist. I stare out at our digits completely outstretched limbs. He brought me here with every intention of getting my physical attention back; I can comply.  
Minorly.  
He swings me around so I’m close to his body his back bending so our faces are close together, “Wanna kiss your soulmate?” It’s not a question I’m meant to object to, he goes right for me and presses our faces together. I push back on him, his grip only becomes tighter on me. He holds me there, just like he did in the beginning to keep me close. He pulls away and I give the eerie smile that follows a skeptical look, “You never did tell me about how they chose white ones.”  
“It’s some ritual and I was so young that I don’t remember.” I don’t care to find out either.  
“Not remembering or just taking it as something irrelevant in the ‘now’?”  
“No it’s not that it’s so unimportant now that my brain neglected it, I was so young my mind just wasn’t ready to take in the reality of what I knew was happening next.” Even though my parents by no means ‘loved’ me before, I didn’t want to go.  
The more and more I think the more I realize how fucked up and cowardly this all is.  
“Stop that face.”  
“What face?”  
“You have no reason to be thinking that hard about something you barely recall..” He turns from me, his grip dropping so suddenly it knocks me off balance for a moment. “Besides....” he chuckles, “You’d be the first one to admit the past is just the past.”  
~  
~Mello~  
If I was a different man, I might have lashed out at Near for not wanting to please me. Though it’s not like I could have ever planned for this situation. It would be have been expected of him to lash out, to treat him badly. But I want Near with me.  
I want to treat him to the best of me.  
I’ve fucked up so much in my life, ruined everything. I was watching Near sleep the other night, I thought to myself. This is my chance, my chance to start over. I touched his pale face and I sighed. There aren’t many nights he doesn’t cling to my side while we sleep. I feel so privileged in a sense, he’s had so many reasons to leave or make me leave. But he stays. To someone who meets him or even just knows him for a little while, it may seem like he’s such an ass one might ask ‘How could he ever make you happy?’.  
That’s the question I chose not to answer, I don’t really need to explain my emotions to anyone. Well of course, the exception being Near, he needs to know. However, if people want me to give a lengthy description of how I love the white-haired creature that sleeps in my bed...  
Then may disappointment fill them.  
The clicking of the battery-powdered toy train and soft breathing, it’s peaceful times like this I have to take in. The chaos that has often surrounded my life is gone for a bit. It’s always gone when we’re alone together. It’s like all the demons claw at me and torment me, the deepest gashes on my spirit. The moment he touches me, his presence is so powerful they all shiver away instantly. It’s incredible, all the wounds suddenly heal and it’s like my pain is gone for a moment.  
I take it’s part of the power of the white ones’. But he’d probably tell me it’s just a part of the whole deal. Whenever we discus why the white one have ‘magic’ to begin with. He tells me that it’s probably some sort of social phenomenon, a sort of manifestation. Years of isolation from the rest of the universe and the powerful belief in the She-God, led to his ancestors trying and over again to make her a real as possible. As such their minds made the powers real and the first time giving color their colorless counterparts, they believed ‘she had found them worthy’. It’s all sociological and psychological.  
Whatever the reason, it’s here now.  
Near’s over-the-top take on everything involving his kind is one of things I like about him. Nothing is ever as simple as whites put it out to be and he knows that more than anyone does.  
I move across our room, (at what point I started calling it ‘ours’ is beyond me.) I sit in front of him, I feel like I’m a kid again. Staring at the object of my affection and attention, expect where Near sits it would have been B and the trains would have be replaced by something else. My legs crossed I observe him, he doesn’t seem bothered by it all. He’s built massive card and dice structures in this room and I let him take over my life like that. I’ve even watched him do that from just the first stack to eventually cards even carefully balanced at me. He asked me not to move for a minute, I filled the request before jumping through the mess right at him. He was mad for a few minutes but I kissed him and told him he can always remake it.  
Near looks back at me setting the thing on the plastic tracks, “You’re quite observant today, bored?”  
“I wouldn’t say bored..” But he knows our interactions have been cut lately because of various reasons, one of the reasons being regular letters from his parents. Who have filed for request to meet me and have yet to be approved by country. They always tell their hopes about me and have a quite idealistic view of their son. Little do they know, their son’s choices while in the black world have defined his character and I am a direct reflection of that.  
Near’s glance comes to me, “You’re over thinking again, stop it. You’re going get another migraine.”  
“Thanks, mom.”  
“If I’m you’re mother you’re more fucked than originally planned.” He smiles, it’s one of his wise-cracking jokes again.  
“Oh my dear, will still give me the look of love when I’m straight jacketed and doped on sedatives?” I grin, his smile widens.  
“I may just join you.” He stands and climbs over the plastic tracks to sit with me, his head on my shoulder.  
“Why did you-“ Our eyes meet, suddenly I decide the question is not worth asking, “Nevermind.” I swing my arm from his shoulders casually, he plays with my rosary blankly.  
“Mello, we’re going to have face my family soon.”  
“Aren’t you an only child?”  
“No, I have brothers and sisters.” Damn, how desperate could his mother have been to be a angel in the She-God’s church?  
“When do you want to do it.”  
“You decide Mello, it is mostly about you.”  
“The soonest we can, if it means we’ll stopped being nagged by the government with letters.” I sigh, this is anything but a pleasant decision if I could Near and would stay here more and be ‘normal’. But that is anything but we are anything but approaching normal right now. Near kisses my cheek,  
“I’m sorry for this, but it’s needed.” A question he would inquire about and I’m thankful he hasn’t formally asked me is ‘Would rather just do this or lose me?’  
~  
In all honestly, I was expecting a lot and got this.  
The white world, I’m breathing it’s air, standing under it’s colored star. It’s like I’m one of them.  
Expect I’m not.  
Near warned me just before we arrived that I may have to do some slight changing of self to hide my difference; He told me not to touch him and if needed, act like he’s a stranger.  
So under this black veil I glance around, the streets are lined with silver, cobble-stone roads and expense white-houses. This is the town Near was born in, he says the hospital and local worship are farther in town. He doesn’t even remember what his birth home looks like, so his parents paid a taxi to take us there. Near and I slip inside the white car with the black checkers. God it’s chrome hell here, everything is so clean. Why white when clearly all other colors exist here? Near doesn’t even know the full reason.  
The car ride is bumpy and awkward and staring the homes isn’t making it better, when I was little and Light was still alive we would move around a lot. The places we stayed were never big, hell the home I spend the rest of youth after his death isn’t that big. But here with the green, clean-cut grass, the gold fences and the blue sky, the pure white homes are big. The average home being at least 4 rooms, I am entranced by it, Near isn’t he’s lived in my room, in that tiny house for the past 9 months. I’m sure he’s past caring about the size of his living place as long as I’m there too.  
We roll into the lane of an almost too big house. White and gold trimmed in a lacey fashion to make it look classic. Near steps out first because the moment they taxi pulls up, 5 people coming pooling out of the house. A woman in her late 30s stick- thin and tall with long curly white hair and light grey eyes , a man barely taller than her a dirty blond with an average build and hazel eyes. Behind them 3 kids one looking my age the other two looking younger than Near. A girl and a boy with thick blond curls, another boy with straight white hair much shorter than Near’s also thinner than Near’s. Near is the only offspring with his mother’s eyes.  
“Oh Nate!” The woman squeaks, I forgot these people wouldn’t know him by ‘Near’. “It’s so good to see you, oh my child! I haven’t seen you since you were little! Welcome home!” Her radiance almost as bright as the gold on her house. As her boney figure moves the silky silver dress she wears shimmers in the light. “These are your brothers and sister.” She points towards them as I get out of the car, his father instantly looks at me. I unveil my self and when she looks at me she gasps. Not in horror though, her hand covers her mouth. “Oh my...” She approaches me, her boney hand running over my hair “He’s beautiful.” She stares at me, “God once you added his color, he must have looked like a white one gone astray! I have never seen such a pretty and divine black one!” She dashes back over to her husband and other children. “Please do come in we’ll get to know each other and learn names and all that good stuff! Don’t worry your driver will set your things out here!” Near and I follow them up the steps and inside, when I get in the house is just like the outside, expect the inside is adored with pictures and depictions of the She-God, scripter and such.  
She invites us to sit on her pure-white leather couch, Near’s curly blond brother joins us and the other take their places in the circle of couches. Near’s sitting close to me, he’s anxious and seeking out comfort but I’m just as unamused by his mother’s bouncy extroversion as he is.  
“Okay, so Mello and Nate-“  
“Call me Near please.”  
“Oh a nickname, I see! Well Near and Mello I’m Cinder River, but Near can call me mother.” I can almost hear Near’s eyes roll in his skull. “My husband is Lucas River and these are my other 3 children, Lilyac, Isaac and Genysis.” Lilyac the girl is named after the ancient flower in the Story of Eternity, Isaac the commoner who brings the She-god her lost jewelry and Genysis the forth born son of the She-god, the one who ‘splits worlds’. Nate, the half-angel, all these names must be common here, but all of them are clear attempts to become an angel in ‘Her eyes’ for Near’s mother.  
“Nice to meet you all.” I fake a pleasant smile, he nudges me. “As you all know I’m Mello.” What am I suppose to say? Lilyac moves her head and curls bounce,  
“Yes, you have the same hair-color as us! I have to ask you, is it fake?” Oh brother, here we again. But before I can answer,  
“I assure you all everything about Mello is real.” Do we fucking finish each others sentences now?  
Genysis, the white haired brother, remains silent however a avalanche of questions pour from Isaac. Several Near deals with others I can answer without his ‘assistance’. Lilyac has so many questions for Near. But their father and Genysis remain silent. Eventually it ends and Cinder escorts us with our things to one empty room.  
“That went better than I imagined.” Near says as he puts things away, we’re ‘alone’ now so it’s safe for us to interpersonally interact.  
“You’re father and brother didn’t say a word-“ I look up and Genysis stands in the door way his hazel eyes looking at his brother, Near’s facial expression becomes it’s normal void of emotion and he stares. Genysis shares another expression. They stare before Genysis stares at me gazing over the part of me that is scarred. He turns suddenly and leaves wordlessly.  
“He’s interesting I haven’t even heard his voice.”  
“You have to remember Genysis was the first effort to make Cinder is mother.”  
“The name ‘Genysis’ is interesting only you and he have the white hair.” Near walks over to me and leans up for a kiss, feeling generous I give up what he wants.  
“Don’t rush them we have as much time as we need.”  
“Genysis is still leaving a lot to the imagination.”  
“Don’t focus on him, look at me.”  
“Oh don’t be jealous of your brother.”  
“I’m not jealous of anyone.”  
“Yeah, yeah surrreee.” He doesn’t bother defending himself.  
~  
The next day was still filled with the squeaks of Cinder and the silence of Genysis, Near’s anxiety hadn’t faded a bit and he clung to me. Genysis staring was starting to bother me. The boy reminds me of Near, in fact, he’s the only one who even reminds me of Near. I’m wondering if he’s thinking of asking about the scar because that’s the area he’s staring at. He’s more sheltered than Near was.  
So I here I sit on the front porch of the house with Genysis next to Near and Lilyac to the left of me.  
“So Mello.” The female voice ask in a casual tone, stirring her lemonade. God the color here is still so unnerving. “Do you have a real name? I mean we know Near’s but ya must have something other than ‘Mello’!”  
“I am Mello, my real name doesn’t matter.”  
“Ah I had a feelin’ you were one of those types.” She stares at me skeptically, almost like trying to crack my exterior with those hazel fires of hers.  
“One of ‘those types’?”  
“Yeah ya know the type! Comin’ up all in here with your leather and pretty face, yer the first man I ever seen who’s scar makes him even prettier!” She shakes her head, “I bet yer a genius just like Nate! It would make some damn since even Genysis closes his mouth to ya!” She bites her thumb, I stare at her in half-surprise, I wonder how old she is. She has a lot of spark and something about that endures me. “But ya seem like ya love my brother lettin’ him cling off of ya like he does....”She leans back in her chair from her inquisition and tension. “But say, Genysis, why aren’t ya questionin’ Mello?” The boy shakes his head and turns his chair away, Near sighs deeply, sipping his own glass of lemonade. Lilyac is interesting, but I imagine Near is annoyed by the invasion, I don’t really mind. I’m not going to be aggressive towards a teenage girl, I’m not Beyond Birthday.  
Soon Cinder comes back out her dull-gold dress hangs loosely from her, dear god does anything fit this woman right?  
“Mello, would you mind speaking to me?” She’s trying to hide something, I instantly need to know what she wants. I look at Near, his expression remains cold but his fingers curl in. I nod at him and follow her in. We sit down across from each other and I stare at her coldly, “Mello, I have gone into more detail about you....I’m not sure you’re right for Near.” Are you fucking... “I mean the reason that scar even exist, the premature mating all of it. I don’t wanna see Near sell him-“ Holy fucking shit.  
I stand up and brace myself to my anger, “This scar?! You see it, all ugly marring my face? It’s the scar I got saving Near, my redemption for even causing that situation! And our sex life is no one’s businesses! Anything you wanna fucking about our relationship? How would you even know anything about him, you abandoned him when he was 5 to fulfill some fucking prophecy, if anything I’m the best damn thing he’s ever had. Anything else you wanna fucking get off your chest or do you want to make the rest of out time here pleasant?” I can feel my face heat up, I need Near’s hand or something to squeeze, she is taken back almost fearful. I turn wanting Near, so I back outside pry him away from his sister and take him back up stairs to our room a lock the door.  
“Mello....”  
“You’re fucking mother just had the nerve to tell I’m not good enough for you!” Near looks shocked for a moment before becoming the ‘calm one’. It’s a method he uses when I’m like this, “Telling the way I got this scar is too much, telling me that –“ I’m muffled by his mouth, a calming kiss meant to reassure me.  
“Mello, shut up don’t worry about any of that...” He holds himself close to me, his hands holding onto my short-sleeve tightly, his face in my shirt, “I’m right here...” My arms smash Near into my embrace. It’s a tight hold, I’m shaking with anger. Near kisses my throat and arms tenderly. “Sssshhh....” He coos quietly, the jitters of rage and the violent shaking of anxiety....  
After a few minutes of just holding, I calm down enough to where I can talk again. Near places his pale hands on either side of my face looking me in the eyes. “You will not lose me, my search ended when I found you.”  
Somehow I believe you.  
~  
For the next days, Near’s family left to do something. God knows what, but they left Genysis behind, apparently as firstborn he is responsible for the house. Near has been preoccupied with making contacts in case of emergencies so generally Genysis and I have been alone in the house together. He recently started to talk to me because of it.  
“So Genysis uh? Pretty damn holy.”  
“Yeah, mother says it’s because I was the first gift to hear. I always wondered if I was such a damn gift why did she keep on havin’ kids, ya know?” He laughed after that, “So what’s your story, ya know, before Near?”  
“Well I was raised by a guy named ‘B’ and I led a normal life for the most part.” Half-truths, the foundation of my friendships and other relations.  
“Really, if you’re so normal how’d ya get that scar?” He points at my face and smirks.  
“That’s a story for another time.” I push away his thoughts.  
“Ya know, Lilyac’s right you’re the only guy I ever seen who’s scar didn’t deface his beauty.” He laughs again, he’s lively and cynical, I want to befriend him.  
“I have never met a group of people that have flattered me so much.”  
“Well we aren’t bad! Just ‘cause mom’s highly flawed doesn’t mean the rest of us have to pass on that douchery.” He picks ups the books (I had so unkindly hacked study-time for him) and puts them aside. “Come on Mello, talk to me more outside, I gotta care for the garden.” I follow him outside, we chit chat more as he water plants and cuts blackberry bushes. We end up back inside reading stupid white world headline watching cheap news we laugh.  
For a little while I forget about Near. Genysis reminds me of Matt and I like that. A friend. But it gets in the late afternoon fast and I begin to wonder where Near has gone.  
“Mello-“ He’s watching me think of Near, he suddenly drops his mood and I wonder why, “Oh.”  
“What’s wrong with you?”  
“Near...”  
“Yeah what about him?” I suddenly get bad-feeling.  
“You have to understand something basic Mello, I’m the first born son and Near’s birth and later his proclamation by the church of being ‘chosen’. I’m so very envious...” He throws back his head and laughs, “I was named this because they thought I could be chosen, but no! Near, Near, Near of course! The child-genius and the prettiest son this family has seen in generations!” He stops laughing and turns his head to me.  
“But you understand that better than anyone Mello...” He lunges himself at me and years of faying for my life in the mafia have made my reflexes quick. “Mello, Mello...I know the truth of your life, I guess you could say I know what you did last summer.” He crawls over me and I am disgusted and creeped out by this advance. I feel stupid, I should have know he had a interior motive, they always do.  
“Look here, kid I don’t know who the fuck you think you are but you are no competition for-“ I look up and Near is right there, silence. The papers he’s holding drop as grey eyes pierce the soul with anger bubbling up in them. He inhales a ragged breath, he’s struggling to breath, he takes low trying to control,  
“So that’s how it is...” he turns and gets up the stair case and everything else as fast as he can. I knee Genysis in the gut and take off after him, but the door is already slammed and locked in my face.  
“Near!” I pound against the door, but I hear a hard thud as he puts things to the door to keep me out even more. “Near please, you’re asshole brother did this, I wasn’t doing anything!” I yell more things but he doesn’t respond there’s not a damn sound coming from our room.  
Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on Walking on Air's second chapter currently   
> But stay tuned for Beyond's rage

**Author's Note:**

> Message me for outline


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